Overtime: A Sports Blog

Grading Your NFL Team's Draft

2009-04-27T15:33:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it's a function of the instant gratification world we live in, with more information than we can possibly process delivered to us instantly each day, but in recent years analysis and grading of NFL team's Draft Picks has become something of a sport in itself. And the time frame is shrinking. It used to be that journalists would wait until the rookies at least got a chance to practice in the first mini-camp prior to rendering a judgment about that player's probable success or failure. Now, they barely have the last pick chosen when the analysts on TV and the Internet pass out grades. And a lot of this is sheer foolishness. It may be fun to read, but it's still foolishness. There are too many questions that can't be answered right after the draft.

First of all, players have to make the adjustment from the system their team ran in college to the one employed by their new team in the NFL. Players often do not have a chance to showcase all their skills in college, and they blossom in the pros when they do get that chance. For example, if your college team never throws the ball to a running back, how do you know whether a given back can make the transition to catch the ball in the NFL?

Also, these are very young people, still growing physically and emotionally. How do you know which player will be able to add strength and stamina over the next few years? How do you know which players have the mental toughness to cope with the long season of travel, endless practices, and games played under super-intense pressure? The answer, you don't.

Another factor is, the NFL is the ultimate team game. We talk about the quarterback and the receivers all the time, but the teams that find players to fill specific roles tend to be the ones that succeed year after year. It's not just a game of a few superstars, like the NBA. Every contribution is important.

So, let's assume we want to ignore the pundits and give our favorite team a grade ourselves. What criteria do we use? That's a very difficult question to answer, isn't it?

What you find over a period of time is that there is an element of crapshoot in these draft day selections. The teams do the best they can to find the top talent, but the reality is there are as many misses are their hits for most teams. Out of ten picks, if you end up with 2-3 starters you are doing pretty well. Perhaps the best idea is to not fret about the "grade" passed out to your team by the experts, and instead just enjoy the NFL Draft as an opportunity to immerse yourself in football for an entire weekend, and with the season more than four months away, that's a blessing indeed.

Brian Hill is the author of several nonfiction books and the novel, Over Time - Love, money and football: all the important things in life. He's an avid grill master. Find his grilling tips, techniques, recipes, and menus.

Improve Your Golf Game: Practice Like a Pro

2009-03-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

Next time you have the opportunity to attend a pro golf tournament, PGA or LPGA, spend some time at the practice area watching the pros get ready for their round. Most amateurs waste their time on the driving range simply hitting random shots. This may warm up your muscles, but it won't get you mentally focused enough to play your best. And the pros will tell you that good golf is at least 50% mental. If you watch a pro warming up, you will see they make sure they hit a few shots with each club, so they have a feel for each one. Amateurs tend to warm up with just their driver and perhaps one or two irons. You can improve your golf game if you practice like a pro.

Pros also know that accuracy with the putter and wedge(s) is an important determinant of your final score. Watch how a pro hits wedge shots of various lengths, from a 1/4 swing all the way to a full wedge. They always hit practice bunker shots as well. And of course they take time on the putting green to get their stroke fine tuned.

A pro has an objective for each shot on the driving range just like he or she does on the course. They select a target and go through the same pre-swing routine they will use on the course. They want to be as comfortable as possible when they get out there in the heat of competition.

Another tip you can get from watching pros warm up: SLOW DOWN! Their goal is not to hit as many balls as possible, but to get into the proper rhythm. Take time between shots to think and plan the next shot, just as you would on the course.

Use your practice or warm-up time to move your mental focus from the duties and concerns of everyday life and career, to concentrating on the challenge of playing your best golf. The practice range is not the place to make or receive cell phone calls. For one thing, it is discourteous to your fellow players who may be disturbed by the phone ringing. A round of golf is supposed to be a respite from our hectic lives, a chance to immerse ourselves in the natural beauty of the course, the interesting design of the course, and the challenge of making the most of our athletic ability. Make sure you give yourself the best chance to succeed by making your practice time count.

Professional golfers who have finished their competitive round for the day often return to the practice range to work on some of the flaws in their swing they noticed during the round, while the day's shots are still fresh in their mind. This requires extra time of course, but you can improve your golf game if you try this technique.

Brian Hill is the author of several nonfiction books and the novel, Over Time - Love, money and football: all the important things in life. He's an avid grill master. Find his grilling tips, techniques, recipes, and menus.

Collecting Vintage Golf Equipment

2009-02-14T15:54:00.000-08:00

The game of golf is steeped in history. Golfers are appreciative of the game’s history, and enjoy learning about the great players of the past, and the memorable tournaments. Just watch any major championships on TV: there are always segments about prior championships played on that course, who won, and what were the memorable shots. Golf’s long history also presents the opportunity for an interesting and potentially lucrative hobby, collecting vintage golf equipment. Displaying vintage clubs or balls can add a lot of interest to any golfer’s home.

Just as anyone who appears on PBS’ Antiques Roadshow program can attest, it is tremendous fun to try to find bargains in antiques, and vintage golf equipment is no exception. Vintage golf items are relatively easy to find, and pursuing this hobby can be a way to learn more about the history of the wonderful game of golf, and how equipment has evolved and improved down the years. It’s fun to grip an old hickory-shafted club form the ‘20’s, set down a gutta percha ball, and imagine trying to actually play with this type of equipment! You quickly gain greater appreciation for today’s forgiving clubs and juiced-up golf balls.

As with any other form of collecting, there are pitfalls, however. You need to make sure items you are buying are authentic vintage equipment, not fakes or replicas. For instance, new clubs can be distressed to look antique. If you are buying items with signatures from great players, you need to make sure the signature is authenticated. These types of collectibles, if authenticated, can enjoy great price appreciation over the years.

You can of course search for vintage golf equipment online. The mega-store eBay has an extensive “Vintage” golf equipment section on their site, often with more than 1000 items. Golf collectibles are not necessarily just clubs from the late 19th or early 20th Century. The original “Ping” putters from the 1960’s are highly sought after collectibles. Items bearing the signatures of greats such as Ben Hogan or Byron Nelson also fetch hefty premiums. Prices for vintage equipment can start very reasonably, $20-$50, and be as high as several thousand dollars for certain rare items.

There are also online sites devoted exclusively to golf collectibles.

Antique Golf Clubs from Scotland describes itself as “the leading online resource for antique golf clubs and memorabilia from Scotland, the birthplace of golf.” http://www.antiquegolfscotland.com/antiquegolf/main.php3

Niblickgolf.com offers clubs and balls from the 1900-1930 period, obtained from a private collection. http://www.niblickgolf.com/antique.html
A vintage driver runs around $125, a Mashie (5 iron) is $95 and a mesh-patterned golf ball in good condition is $75.

Before beginning your acquisition of vintage golf equipment, you should do some research. An excellent guidebook is: Antique Golf Collectibles: A Price and Reference Guide (Paperback) by highly respected golf collector and publisher, Chuck Furjanic. This book includes comprehensive information on literally thousands of collectibles: antique clubs and balls, autographs, signature golf balls, artwork, medals and trophies, as well as trading cards and other collectibles. With more than 500 photographs, this book is fascinating to read as well as an important price guide for would-be collectors.

A few other tips: 1) Try to find items in as good a condition as possible. These are more likely to hold their value or appreciate. “Vintage” doesn’t mean in beaten-up condition. 2) Putters are among the most popular collectibles. 3) When you begin collecting, stick with equipment items, clubs, balls, vintage golf bags, etc. rather than golf artwork, which requires more study in order to make informed decisions.

Brian Hill is the author of several nonfiction books and the novel, Over Time - Love, money and football: all the important things in life. Read his sports blog. He's an avid grill master. Find his grilling tips, techniques, recipes, and menus.

What’s The Big Deal About Starting 0-2?

2008-09-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

Every year there are several really good NFL teams that stumble out of the gate, losing their first two games. This year, the Chargers, Seahawks and Vikings, all mentioned as bound for the playoffs in most of the preseason predictions, have suffered this frustrating start. In the Vikings’ case, it has already led to the starting quarterback being replaced. The poor QB barely had time to be picked in anyone’s Fantasy League before he was benched.

What follows such a dismal start are predictions of gloom by the sports media, citing the curious statistic that only a small percentage of teams that start 0-2 ever make it to the playoffs. That statistic is suspect, simply because the fact of the matter is, many of the teams that start 0-2 just keep on losing, so of course they don’t end up in the postseason. The 0-2 start is merely the truly bad team’s way of prepping the fans for the 3-13 debacle the season is going to end up being. This is much more merciful than winning your first two games, getting your fans all hyped up, and then losing the next ten games.

We should also keep in mind that the NFL season is a war of attrition. Even terrific teams destined to go deep into the playoffs lose two consecutive games at some point in the season. All it takes is a few unfortunate injuries, or running into two opponents that are on a hot streak. If you look back at playoff teams’ records after the season is concluded, you will often find that they win 4, lose 2, win 5 more, drop another couple of games, and when all’s said and done, they wind up 11-5.

The best advice for the fans of the current 0-2 teams is, RELAX. The Chargers got off to a similarly slow start last year and ended up very strong. There’s no reason to think they won’t equal or surpass last year’s record. Sometimes it seems that there are teams that don’t play their best football in September, for reasons that are difficult to identify. Their offense might not click right away. The spotty playing time starters get in the preseason may not prepare them to work well as a unit once the season starts.

One of the under discussed factors in the NFL is the relative strength of the team you are playing that week, not how they look on paper, but where the team is right at that moment, both mentally and physically. Suppose you’re facing a team that just played, and lost, a brutal game to a division rival on a Monday night. That team’s energy might be depleted when they play you, giving you somewhat of an advantage. Or they might come into your stadium as mad a hornets. Over the course of the season, these weekly situational factors might play a key role in the outcome of 4-5 of your games.

So, an 0-2 start is not so frightful after all. Of course, if you lose that third game...

Green Fees

2008-09-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

Most of us can’t afford to join a country club, so we’re content to find a reasonably priced daily fee course in our area and make that our golfing home base, or perhaps select several we enjoy playing and visit them on a rotating basis. Once in a while, though, it’s fun to treat ourselves to an upscale golf experience, a round at one of the country’s finest courses.

Every year GOLF magazine comes out with a list of great golf courses that are accessible to the public. The list is fascinating; check out this link to it:

http://search.golf.com/top-courses-and-resorts/top-100-courses-you-can-play-2008.html

The list is bound to get any avid golfer’s pulse racing a little faster. Did you know you can play courses that have hosted the US Open or other of golf’s Major Championships? You can. Pinehurst (No.2) for example in Pinehurst, NC. The green fee is hefty, $339-$410. Perhaps the most famous course on the list is Pebble Beach in Northern California. The green fee there is even higher, $495-$530, but anyone who has played there will tell you it is worth it for this once-in-a-lifetime experience. One way to stomach the high price tag is to just think of it as putting $1.50 a day away in a piggy bank for one year. That’s not so hard, is it? The Stadium Course at the TPC at Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL, is a bit more reasonably priced, $275-$375 per round. But this does not include the cost of all the balls most us would hit into the water on the legendary 17^th Hole.

Surprisingly, not all the courses on the list are expensive to play. Circling Raven Golf Club in Worley, ID, #93 on the list, has greens fees that range from $40-$95. A true municipal course, Bethpage (Black) in Farmingdale, N.Y., another US Open venue, has extremely reasonable green fees, $50-$124. Beautiful Pinehills Golf Club in Plymouth, MA, a Jack Nicklaus designed course, can be played for a modest $65-$110.

This brings up an important point: nearly all golf courses have greens fees that vary widely by season. In the South and the West, typically fees are lower in the very hot months, and much higher during tourist season in the winter and spring. Similarly, Midwestern and Northern courses are less expensive when the weather turns chilly in the fall. Many days are still pleasant enough for golf in October and November, however, and there is the added advantage of the courses being less crowded at that time.

Famous resort courses even have relative bargains on green fees at certain times. Kapalua Resort in Kapalua, Maui, has a peak greens fee of $295, but it can be as low as $80. Even Arnold Palmer’s famous Bay Hill Club in Orlando, Florida, can be played for as low as $110, though the greens fee is as high as $225 at other times.

The other cool thing about GOLF Magazine’s list is that the courses are dispersed all over the U.S., showing us that great golf is available wherever we live. You might not think of Nebraska as a golfer’s paradise, but right there at #60 on the list is Wild Horse Golf Club in Gothenburg. And they charge an incredibly low $33-$51 per round.

Viva Las Vegas: Nevada now boasts 5 courses on the Top 100 list, most of them built in the last ten years.

So whether you want to treat yourself to a round at one of the most famous courses in the U.S., one of the premier resort destinations, or just a beautifully designed, challenging course, you can find one in your region of the country. GOLF Magazine came up with a list of 100, but in truth there are at least 500 fabulous courses available to daily fee players.

Healing Broken Packer Hearts

2008-08-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Among Packer fans, there’s a lot of hurt, anger, sadness and even depression about the departure of #4, and the way the team handled it. I don’t want to take the time to rehash the whole saga, for one thing the subject has been covered adequately by much more eloquent sportswriters than I:

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/26047024/

What I found especially disappointing was how Packer fans turned on each other in the forums and chat rooms. If you didn’t “get with the program” and “move on” you somehow weren’t a true Packer fan, you were, these people said, often with profanity laced tirades or personal insults, “a Favre fan.”

As if that were something bad.

Well, I’m a Favre fan, then. I tend to root for individuals, not for institutions. A stadium is just steel and concrete. The people who serve in a management capacity at NFL teams come and go, and some are quickly forgotten. What matters are the players: they're the ones who through supreme effort, sweat, blood and sacrifice bring us football glory. I remember when I was kid and the Packers fired Bart Starr as coach, right at the time he was starting to be a good coach, I totally lost interest in their games for a number of years. Bart was one of the greatest Packer players in history. I thought he should have been treated better than that. He had assembled a team that had lots of upside potential. After he was let go, they had to go through several complete, miserable, iterations of rebuilding before Ron Wolf and Mike Holmgren—and Brett Favre--were able to turn the team into a winner.

So, I think it is perfectly reasonable to be angry that Brett Favre is no longer with the team. The question is, what to do now? How to heal up and enjoy football again. Here are a few ideas:

Don’t be angry with the Packer players, especially Aaron Rodgers. I think it’s really poor sportsmanship to boo the players in practice or at the games. They have no say in personnel decisions. Truth be told, each of them knows they could be the next one shipped out in a trade or an outright release. And I imagine if they did get to vote on the issue, they would have nearly unanimously said to keep both Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre.

This continues in the blog post that follows...

Healing Broken Packer Hearts Part II

2008-08-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

Radical Idea: Root for the New York Jets. I’ve visited the Jets website and they are quite welcoming to Packer fans. Numerous fans have already posted that they will be Jets fans this season, and are now “former” Packer fans. The Jets seem to have lots of good players, and their fan base in obviously energized. It could be quite exciting to watch Brett guide a team that was 4-12 last year to a 10-6 record or better this year.

And guys will be pleased to know the Jets just hired the lovely Jenn Sterger to be the host of their Gameday broadcasts. Not sure exactly what her NFL experience is, but she’s bound to be more interesting than some of the guys on the broadcast networks.

Take a Season Off. Time heals all wounds. Instead of watching the games and getting mad, just do something else on Sundays. Sure, check the scores or watch the highlights, but you don’t have to plan the whole day around the Packers’ game. Since they’ve been around for 90 years, they’ll most likely be around next year, too.

Pick a new team to watch. Most of us have more than one team that interests us. I’ve always liked the San Diego Chargers and Pittsburgh Steelers, for example. They both have good teams this year, and I thought I’d watch some of their games. That way, we don’t have to be worried about how either Brett or Aaron perform.

Stay away from Internet forums. Nothing can be gained by engaging in arguments with nasty people who hide behind their screen names. You don’t have to justify your opinion that the Packers did the wrong thing in sending Brett to another team. In time, we will know who was right. I went ahead and deleted all the forums from the bookmarks on my computer.

Root for both the Packers and the Jets to succeed. Just think, if both teams win ten games this season, you have the opportunity to be happy 20 times! That means you’ll be even happier than Patriots fans, if you can imagine that.

God Bless the Jets

2008-08-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

…for making Brett Favre and his millions of fans happy. At my house, and in many others no doubt, we went into a protracted period of mourning when he announced his retirement in March. It just seemed strange that he would leave after such a successful season both on a personal and a team level. Without jumping into the acrimonious debate of whether he was forced out by Packers’ management, the fact is that when he arrived in New York to such a warm welcome from the team, the fans—and even the Mayor—it made me feel really, really good. I think he can have two extremely productive seasons for the Jets, and perhaps even three. Jets fans are hungry for victory, their team owner committed the necessary funds to bring in talented free agents, and they were better talent-wise than their record would indicate in 2007. All these factors bode well.

And Brett richly deserves whatever remaining success he can summon out of that amazing right arm of his. Besides his athletic skill he will bring to the Jets something that I haven’t heard the news media talk much about: his incredible will to win, or perhaps refusal to lose. He causes the players around him to perform much better than they would if he weren’t there. He’s repeatedly been able to turn mediocre receivers into 1000-yard season all-stars, so he’s way ahead of the game in New York because they have excellent receivers. Without his sterling play at quarterback last year, the Packers would have been hard pressed to finish 8-8. Without his vigorous leadership in the playoff game vs. Seattle, after the Packers fell two touchdowns behind in the first quarter, they probably would have lost, instead of roaring back to score 42 points.

Those are the facts, and as President Reagan used to say, “Facts are stubborn things.”

What struck me when I watched the various media events surrounding his arrival in New York was how happy he looked. To be playing again. To be at a franchise that clearly wanted him.

The Jets play in San Diego in September, a short plane flight from where I live in Phoenix. I can’t express how grateful I am to be able to see him play in person one more time. It is an unexpected gift.

God Bless the Jets!

The Season Tickets Conundrum

2008-07-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve always been ambivalent about the idea of purchasing season tickets for a team’s games. I’ve done it before—in football, baseball and basketball, and in a way, as I’ll explain, golf. On the one hand it’s exciting to know you can see EVERY SINGLE HOME GAME your team plays. When the schedule comes out, you almost get goosebumps when you spot the games against your team’s key (or hated) rivals. This is going to be so much fun! In the case of baseball, it’s almost like your summer is all planned out for you.

And of course there is the status you can earn with your peer group when they find you have popped for the season tickets. You might even find you have more friends than you imagined…

One of my favorite experiences with baseball season tickets came when I was in high school. My father’s company purchased 8 season tickets—really good ones on the first base side only 6 rows up. His idea was to reward employees for good performance with the tickets. This worked great for about the first month of the season. But the team started off very badly and got worse from there. By July, he didn’t have many takers for the seats. Employees kept coming up with excuses why they couldn’t go to the games. He thought it looked bad that the company seats went unfilled so we ended up going to the games. This got old very quickly. By the end of August, when I saw another game on the calendar, it was like: not another baseball game! Couldn’t I stay home and mow the lawn? Or, you know, it’s really time I cleaned my room.

Next season, he didn’t renew the tickets.

Football season tickets were my favorite. There are only 8 regular season home games, and each one is truly an event to look forward to. The only drawback was late in the season in a northern climate, sitting out in the cold or rain or snow. With NFL games, they are normally sold out so there is a ready market for your seats if you can’t attend the game. Basketball season tickets I didn’t enjoy as much because the weekday games are at night and it can be difficult to get off work, grab dinner and make it to the arena by tipoff, especially if you had a long day and are tired. I recall dozing off several times in the fourth quarter of dull games. Luckily I don’t snore.

My experience with golf “season” tickets involved an entrepreneurial idea that went bad. I noticed the tournament had a VIP package you could purchase, 5 VIP passes, 15 daily tickets and parking passes. I had the bright idea that if I sold the tickets to my friends, and gave them a discount from the price you pay for an individual ticket, I could make a profit of over $150. Not bad. Until the first two days of the tournament were rained out, no one wanted the tickets, and I took about a $350 loss. Oh well. It was still a good idea, in the concept stage.

Three Free Passes

2008-06-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

On a regular basis it seems, a celebrity or TV or radio personality says something really, really idiotic that makes a particular group in our society really, really angry and what follows is a round of recrimination, demands for the person to be fired or their products boycotted, or any number of other punishments. Next comes an even longer round of apologies, tears, and acts of contrition from the offending party, who now carries the name “disgraced” with them for however long the media decides, such as disgraced announcer, disgraced comedian, disgraced politician.

If you think about it, dis-graced implies the individual possessed some degree of grace prior to the incident. I for one have never used the words politician and grace in the same sentence.

Even a harmless golf announcer was trapped in a firestorm of negative reaction for a remark she made about Tiger Woods. And tournament golf isn’t exactly known as a hotbed of controversy. During recessionary times especially, the depth of grooves in a golfer’s sand wedge is not something I can get too worked up about.

If we look at this whole issue of media feeding on media, we see that it is a statistical certainty that every few weeks at least, someone will shoot their mouth off and offend a significant segment of the population. Why?

--The number of microphones being thrust into our faces increases exponentially while the supply of intelligent individuals remains constant, or perhaps even declines due to the ineffectiveness of the public school system and the rise of Reality TV.

--Behind the scenes of any media outlet you will find editors and producers in the quest for higher ratings, exhorting their on-air troops to be edgier, more controversial, more “fiery”. So, with the reasonable goal of pleasing their boss, the on air personalities dream up more and more outrageous things to say. They think they’re just doing their job.

--In the case of celebrities and entertainers, they have a pathological need for attention. It’s like a drug addiction that requires more and more frequent fixes. There’s no cure either. Not even finding religion helps many of these poor folks.

I have a solution for this whole problem: Three Free Passes.

This simply means anyone in the public eye is issued a voucher containing free passes that can be used to wipe out the record of three inane things that come out of their mouths and sail across the airwaves (and eventually sailing out in space to offend the tender but probably weirdly shaped ears of aliens on distant planets).

They would carry these passes with them wherever they go. When they catch themselves uttering something idiotic, they pull it out and holler “FREE PASS!” and are immediately absolved from criticism and outrage. They, and more importantly we, get to move on with our lives. No controversy, no unpleasantness, no boycotts. Just a return to the gentle rhythm of our peaceful existence.

Why three? If you say more than three really stupid things on the air, perhaps it is best you find another career, one that doesn't involve microphones or TV cameras.

By the way, I’m deeply sorry I made fun of alien’s ears. FREE PASS!

Retiring Too Soon

2008-05-16T11:14:00.000-07:00

This week golfer Annika Sorenstam joined Brett Favre in the ranks of athletes retiring at the top of their game this year. Both of them said they had been thinking about the decision for a long time, but to their fans, the decision seemed abrupt, and even a little mystifying perhaps. Obviously playing football exacts a more physical toll on your body than playing pro golf does, so we could understand if Brett felt worn down. But his performance on the field in 2007 dispelled any notions we might have had that his skills were declining. In the memorably snowy playoff game against Seattle in Green Bay, Brett was running around the field like any of his twenty-something teammates. And the Packers are definitely a team on the rise, with some of the best young players in the NFL, and steadily improving depth at key positions like defensive line and wide receiver.

So, we ask, why quit, Brett?

Ms. Sorenstam is also enjoying a great season, and in the somewhat convoluted player ranking system the golf tours use, she is one of the top two female golfers in the world right now—she may end up the season #1. She battled through some injuries last season, but seems to be healthy now. And golfers never really “retire”. They might cut back on the tournaments they play, or just concentrate on the “majors”, but they never completely leave the scene. Golfer Julius Boros when asked why he kept playing on the PGA tour well into his 50’s responded memorably: “Retire to what? All I do now is fish and play golf.”

So, we ask, why quit, Annika?

Both of these fine athletes cited almost identical reasons: they still enjoy playing the game, but the mental strain of preparation, and the battle to stay physically and emotionally on top of your game got to be too much.

I think it comes down to a kind of stubborn pride that you need to have to be a top athlete for an extended number of years. Some athletes demand from themselves nothing less than being the best in their particular sport—and they demand that they constantly improve. When they see that holding on to that top spot is becoming more difficult each year they, perhaps wisely, choose to walk away.

For Green Bay Packer fans, one of the things they have dreaded most is the day when Brett had a poor performance on the field and the coach replaced him with the second string understudy. Now, that will never happen. He exited the game as the starting quarterback of one of the greatest sports franchises in the United States.

Annika says she’s looking forward to other things, including business ventures and getting married. I think she’s also looking forward to not having to look behind her and see the younger players catching up. And they will.

But both of these star athletes will soon see that there’s nothing that can really replace the sound of cheers when your name is announced prior to the game or on the first tee.

And they may not admit it publicly, but they will both have thoughts that they retired too soon.

Not An Easy Gig

2008-05-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

Many newspapers with online editions now have a place at the bottom of articles where readers can post their comments about the article. Like everything else about the anonymous world of the Internet, this brings out lots of nasty people making nasty comments. It seems to me many people just use these forums to vent their anger over the sorry state of the their own lives, rather than contributing any thoughtful comment about the newspaper article in question. I much preferred the “old days” when if you wanted a letter to the editor published, you had to give the newspaper your real name and phone number so they could call and verify you were who you said you were—and you had to have your name printed with the letter. This cut down on some of the seriously deranged commentary that otherwise would have occurred.

My father’s motto was: “Let’s all be nice.” He usually meant that in the form of an order rather than a suggestion. The subtext was, “If you can’t say anything pleasant, just be quiet.” He’d be shocked to see the rudeness that passes for “discussion” on the Internet. I also doubt he’d waste his time reading any of it.

I’ve been noticing in some of the NFL articles in various newspapers that the comments being posted have a common thread: “This article is so boring.” “This writer has nothing new to say.”

It’s called the offseason, people. The writer doesn’t have anything new to say because nothin’ is happening. We bring this situation of weak content on ourselves because we visit our football web sites every day, the newspaper takes note of the huge number of visitors and assigns writers to come up with “fresh” content every day. Maybe we should be a little more understanding of the struggles these writers go through.

Being a newspaper writer or columnist is not an easy gig, even when exciting things are happening. News-wise, the NFL is in the doldrums this time of year. There’s nothing the writers can do about it. Maybe we should cut them some slack. How about posting things like: “Great grammar in that article! Congrats” or “I always learn new vocabulary words when I read your stories. Keep up the good work.”

Imagine that, a kinder, gentler Internet.

Nothing Better than a Refreshing Draft

2008-04-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

NFL Draft, that is. It’s amazing how much the annual selection of college players by the NFL has grown in popularity. When I get my new calendar in December, I make sure one of the dates I mark down first is when the April draft will be. I get a little more addicted to it each year.

The NFL owners have meetings several times a year where they get together, discuss issues the league is confronting, make decisions about rules improvement, and generally socialize with one another. For NFL fans, the draft is kind of our annual meeting. All the fans from all the teams gather around the TV to watch their favorite team’s grand strategy unfold.

The excitement builds in the week before the draft. I study all the draft guides every evening, trying to predict who my team is going to choose. This involves considerable work, because I don’t follow college football very much, and the names and accomplishments of the players to be drafted are pretty much brand new to me. Regarding my choices, I’m invariably wrong, because I think it’s unfair my team doesn’t get 3 or 4 selections in the first round. Someone should look into this and make appropriate changes to the rules.

The Draft is also a well of endless hope. The new players on our team will of course be much better than the players we have there now. These new players have never fumbled, never thrown an interception, never missed an assignment or blow a coverage. There’s almost a feeling of euphoria that comes over us, as though fans believe if their team’s General Manager is enough of a genius in the Draft this year, their pathetic 4-12 team could vault to 12-4, or the mediocre 8-8 team could sprint to the championship game. There is apparently an element of magic to this player picking business.

And it also appears this genius stuff is of a temporary nature, though, because if we look back at who our GM chose the last few years, we quickly can recall what a large percentage of the picks were duds. But this year will be different, for sure.

The NFL Draft also provides us with the adrenaline rush of a game show where the contestants can win millions of dollars. The reality is that it’s ludicrous to hand a fortune to a rookie who may be a total bust when he has to face NFL level competition. But it’s also satisfying, and uniquely American. We root for our fellow citizens to succeed and get windfalls they don’t deserve.

Not as much as we root for ourselves to get windfalls we don’t deserve, of course. But we root, nonetheless.

My Favorite Week in Golf…

2008-04-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

…is Masters week. I’ve been fortunate to have had the chance to attend the US Open five times, the PGA Championship twice and the Masters once (I still hope to make it to the British Open someday). Each “Major” has it own character, its own atmosphere. The US Open always seemed extremely serious to me, perhaps because of the rather grim gentlemen in those dark blue USGA blazers who run the event. They take their golf very, very seriously—they even call the event an “examination” of the best players. How fun is that: Let’s all go watch an examination! The golfers seem more on edge right from the first tee the first day.

The PGA? It always seemed like simply an amped-up version of the typical event on the PGA Tour. The fans are more focused on the golf and less on partying perhaps, but it never seemed quite as formal as the US Open. Not quite as much pomp and circumstance. The PGA always seemed a bit underrated in terms of fan interest. I had a great time at both PGAs I attended. The PGA has over the years typically had a more geographically diverse roster of venues as well, although in recent times the US Open has opened up to different courses beside the usual Eastern seaboard based rotation of Baltusrol, Oakmont, etc. If you go way back in time to the 1930’s you can see that the PGA was once played at the course in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where I grew up and one my first golf trophy (one of at least two)—Bluemound CC. Gene Sarazen was the winner that year.

Then we come to the Masters. All I could manage to say the first time I stepped foot on Augusta National was WOW! The best way I can describe the Masters is that it is as though a kindly old, and extremely wealthy, gentleman has invited you to his magnificent estate, and offered you the most gracious hospitality imaginable. All that he asks is that you behave with dignity and don’t litter the grounds. In fact they have a small army of custodial workers who pick up everything but the fallen leaves from the dogwood trees.

My Augusta adventure began inauspiciously because my secretary had booked me into a really horrible hotel in a small town not far from Augusta, the kind of dump where you can’t quite place the odor embedded in the carpet and the locks on the doors look they might fall off any minute. I ventured to the diner across the street from the hotel, and when they served me chicken fried steak with “mystery gravy” about the consistency of the paste we used in middle school art class, I decided to get back on the road and find another hotel. This wasn’t the elegant Masters experience I had in mind.

The closest I could get was a place in Columbia, South Carolina, but the accommodations and food were much better. That worked out fine except for the long commute across the Georgia border and over to Augusta National.

So late Tuesday afternoon I found myself walking the hallowed grounds of Augusta. The practice round was over for the day and I walked the back nine pretty much by myself, encountering only the occasional groundskeeper putting the finishing touches on the verdant masterpiece. That was an incredible experience, so thrilling it is still fresh in my mind years later—and that was before the tournament even started. So you can imagine how exciting it was on Thursday when the tournament actually began.

Experiencing that magnificent course, where all those legends were made, was as memorable as any of the golf I watched that week. It finally occurred to me after the tournament was over on Sunday, and the crowds began to leave, that Augusta National is the star of her own show each year, and unlike some of the Hollywood stars, her radiance never fades. She draws the crowds, just as much as the golfers themselves.

That’s why Masters week is my favorite week in golf.

Online Shopping for Golf Equipment Part II

2008-04-03T16:17:00.000-07:00

One other great thing about online shopping for golf equipment is that you can quickly compare golf equipment prices from various online stores, all over the world including the United Kingdom. If you’re doing a golf equipment comparison UK, there is even an emerging online service that helps you do side-by-side comparisons from various online merchants, called HaabaaPrice (http://www.haabaaprice.com/ At the present time, this service allows merchants to list their products or services for free. You can compare golf equipment prices quite easily.

Planet Golf UK is one of the first golf equipment merchants utilizing this service. A comparison shopping site like this makes it easier to save money and find exactly what you’re looking for, almost as though you are visiting several online stores at once. For the merchant, the comparison shopping site gives them another method of reaching potential customers.

You may be reluctant to buy golf equipment online because at a brick-and-mortar golf equipment store you get to pick up the clubs, and get a “feel” for them. Some stores even have a net you can hit practice balls into with the clubs you are considering. I’ve bought clubs online and at the golf equipment stores, and haven’t really noticed any difference in which clubs work out best for me. In either case, it takes several rounds of golf to really get used to the clubs.

With online shopping, then, you can find the best deals on your favorite brands. I have found that there are several brands of clubs that I have had better success with over the years. My dad was the same way. He always played “Walter Hagen” brand clubs because he admired Hagen’s style and his pure enjoyment of life. He thought playing those clubs might help him find more easygoing enjoyment and less frustration in the typical round of golf. When I was in college and playing a lot of golf, I liked “Ben Hogan” brand clubs because I hoped some of Mr. Hogan’s precision and accuracy was manufactured into the clubs. But of course, it’s difficult for even the best manufacturers to incorporate “athletic ability” in their products.

‘Netting Bargains on Golf Equipment

2008-04-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

When I lived in the Midwest, this was the time of year we started to yearn for the golf season to begin, but many times the weather didn’t cooperate. If we couldn’t get out there and play for a few more weeks, the next best thing was to shop for the newest and best golf clubs, because all golfers know the only thing preventing them from consistently scoring in the low ‘70’s is that we are laboring with inferior golf clubs. It can’t possibly have anything to do with us.

These days we are blessed to have access to literally every type of golf equipment manufactured around the world, through online golf equipment stores.

If you’ve never shopped for golf equipment online, you should consider giving it a try. The bargains on brand name golf clubs, balls, gloves, shoes, and accessories are incredible. Online golf equipment store Planet Golf UK (www.planetgolfuk.co.uk) carries the very popular Callaway golf equipment, as well as other large brands such as Taylor Made, Cobra, Nike, Mizuno, Odyssey, Titleist, Ping and FootJoy. Many of the items are discount 20-30% or more from what they term “market price”.

Golf equipment is discounted on the Internet for a number of reasons. On-line golf equipment dealers are essentially eliminating the retailer’s portion of the profit—there is no physical store with lease cost, utilities, sales staff, etc. Part two of the saving comes from efficiency: inventory that is overstocked can be moved quickly by advertising sales on the Internet.

But the biggest reason for all these savings being available is the Internet itself. It has brought about greater competition in the golf industry, and this has led to widespread price discounting in order to attract customers.

Besides the equipment you need to shore up your game, many Internet stores offer unusual items as well. At Planet Golf UK I noticed they sell “Butthead” head covers, including “Hamlet the Hacker”, a colorful pink rear end of a pig that fits snugly over your driver or fairway woods.

It’s good to not take the game too seriously.

In Praise of Spring Training

2008-03-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

Each sport has its own individualistic appeal. There’s something unique to enjoy about each one. There’s one thing, though, that professional baseball does much better than any of the other leagues: the practice games, a.k.a. Spring Training. I live near Phoenix, which is one of the major centers of Spring Training. The closest games to me are held at Scottsdale Stadium, which is the winter “home” of the San Francisco Giants. For years I have always tried to attend at least one Spring Training game. In years where because of my work schedule I don’t make it out there, I always feel as though springtime wasn’t quite complete.

Scottsdale has been a spring training venue since the mid-1950’s. Winter visitors started to vacation there partially to see their favorite teams play. This exposure helped put the town on the map as a great place to live, and contributed to its phenomenal growth.

Spring Training games are great fun for a variety of reasons. The spring training stadiums are often smaller, more intimate venues than the major league ballparks. You get the feeling you are closer to the players; it gives you a chance to observe them interacting with one another. The relaxed atmosphere of these games lends themselves to getting a group of friends together and enjoying an afternoon of good conversation and sunshine. If you happen to discuss business for a couple of minutes, you can even avoid the guilty feeling of having skipped work.

Though ticket prices for spring training games have escalated in recent years, they are still a bargain compared to another sport’s practice games, The NFL. Good baseball seats can be had for $20-$25, whereas I have attended NFL preseason games where similar seats cost more than $75—this to see players many of whom most likely won’t even be on the roster in September. Also, the games are held at the NFL teams’ stadiums, and they often attract large crowds, so you have the usual, regular season, hassles with parking, standing in line for food, etc.

For my money, and time, spring training baseball games are much more enjoyable. So I’m looking forward to March 22, when the Giants play the Milwaukee Brewers at Scottsdale Stadium. There will be lots of winter visitors from Wisconsin there, which means an opportunity to make new friends and talk about…

Baseball, sure, but also about the Green Bay Packers’ prospects for 2008.

Because for football fans, there really is no offseason, and that’s what the National Football League does better than any of the other major sports—make sure they’re always on our minds.

Golf in Costa Del Sol

2008-02-26T09:38:00.000-08:00

One of the great things about the game of golf is you can combine a world-class golf experience with an equally exciting travel experience. Fine resorts and interesting golf courses seem to go hand in hand. There has been such a boom in golf resort construction in the last 20 years, worldwide, the choices of golf destinations are virtually endless. In the case of a golf trip outside the United States, it is an opportunity to experience a different culture, scenery, cuisine—even style of golf course. And there’s an added bonus—if your golf game turns sour during your trip, and you break out with a tragic case of the shanks, duffs, or foozles, at least you can enjoy the sightseeing portion of your trip.

Spain is a country I’ve always wanted to visit, and I’ve learned that the southern part Spain, the “costa del sol” region, has a lot to offer the golf enthusiast, including 50 great golf courses, more than 100 kilometers of beautiful beaches, and accommodations for every taste and budget, all the way up to 5-star resorts. The climate is mild year-round. Imagine playing a Robert Trent Jones design course and then relaxing at a bar/restaurant with a view of the gorgeous blue Mediterranean in the background. That’s exactly what’s available to you at the Marbella Golf & Country Club in costa del sol. The #1 ranked course in continental Europe, Valderrama, which has hosted many major tournaments including the 1997 Ryder Cup, is in this region as well.

Planning an international golf vacation can be daunting, even with the Internet to guide you. A good place to start are the experts on golf courses: costa del sol region. They’ve even played the golf courses. This company takes care of all the details including arranging ground transportation. They know which accommodations are best, and can advise you about the most interesting courses to play. In addition, they are able to secure better prices for rooms and green fees than you could do on your own.

All you have to do is remember to pack your golf clubs.

A “golf Spain” vacation could be one of your memorable golf experiences ever. I know I’m looking forward to visiting there.

Wurst Case Scenarios

2008-02-20T11:22:00.000-08:00

Recently, at my annual check-up, the doctor discovered my blood pressure was higher than it should be. The doctor prescribed some medication for me to try, which worked very well, but I also found out that it may be possible to lower your blood pressure by making some better lifestyle choices—more exercise, losing weight, and reducing the amount of salt in your diet.

I started checking the labels of the foods I buy and was shocked to learn how much sodium (salt) is in many of my favorite things. This is expressed on the labels as “% Daily Value” meaning what percent of your daily recommended “allowance” of salt is in that food. For most foods, the percentages are in the 5-15% range, but when you add up all the different things we eat each day, and all the ingredients we might use to make the dishes we cook, it’s easy to end up consuming 200% or more of the salt we should.

Luckily, there are low sodium alternatives to many brands of foods, even things like bread, bacon and cheese. And, you can of course completely eliminate some of the major sodium-laden culprits like soy sauce from your cooking. Or simply not eat as much of certain items. Have just a little sprinkling of cheese on your chili instead of the usual cheddar blizzard. Fast food is another good thing to eliminate from your diet in order to lower salt intake. Many restaurants make up for lack of food quality and culinary skill by liberally applying salt to everything.

So far, so good. But then I discovered something that came as a major shock: MY FAVORITE BRAND OF BRATWURST had a sodium value of 30%--much more than I should consume. Imagine a Green Bay Packer fan who is not allowed to eat brats. This is bad, bad news, truly a wurst case scenario. I can’t imagine watching Packer football without eating brats. It’s almost unthinkable. Some foods naturally go with football, some don’t. Think about during the game broadcasts when they take you into the luxury boxes at the stadiums and show you all the gourmet food the rich folk are eating like filet mignon in béarnaise sauce or duck confit. It doesn’t seem right somehow. Brats seem right.

But then I thought, next football season is months and months away: it’s no time to panic or feel sorry for myself. I enjoy experimenting with recipes, so I’m going to attempt to create the next generation of wurst:

THE LOW SODIUM BRATWURST

Wish me luck.

Enjoy the Journey

2008-02-20T10:17:00.000-08:00

The week after the Super Bowl, I happened to be corresponding via e-mail with some friends back East—New England Patriots fans—and naturally their mood was gloomy. Actually, dark depression describes it best. Here they went from being so close to being on top of the world—AN UNDEFEATED SEASON—and instead they were just the last victim of the incredible late season run the New York Giants put on.

Green Bay Packer fans happened to feel the same sting just two weeks earlier. After one of the most memorable playoff games in Packer history, complete with a stirring comeback from two touchdowns behind and a lovely snowstorm that made the whole atmosphere seem like a winter dreamscape, there was nothing but bitterness and an empty feeling at the end of the game, combined with the sobering realization that opportunities to go to the Super Bowl don’t come around that often. Who knows when Green Bay will make it to the NFC Championship again? Next year? Ten years from now?

It got me to thinking about this whole notion of whether winning really is “the only thing.” If that’s true, in professional sports the only way to feel satisfied at the end of a season is to win the Championship, or to not make the playoffs at all but win your final game. In the latter case, at least you get to experience that “we’ll get ‘em next year” solace, that hopeful anticipation of the upcoming season.

Perhaps sports fans should enjoy the journey instead; we should try to remember the thrill of each and every victory during the season, each amazing play we witnessed. After all, even losing teams have highlight reels.

I learned this lesson when I was a kid and went to PGA Golf Tournaments on a regular basis. I had several favorite players I rooted for, and I was always disappointed when the tournament was over and my players didn’t win. Then it dawned on me: the chances of any single player winning a given tournament, especially one I happened to attend, are extremely slim. It’s possible I would never see one of my favorite players win in person. With that in mind, I learned how to enjoy the event for the event itself, not the outcome.

As it turned out, I never did see one of my favorite players hoist the trophy at the end, but now, twenty years or more later, I still remember the thrill of having them in contention on Sunday afternoon at Augusta or Pebble Beach. I remember the excitement of being in the middle of the cheering crowds.

The journey. That’s the important thing.

(But, I have to admit I didn’t watch the Super Bowl because I was still angry the Packers didn’t make it).

This “enjoy the journey” concept will require a little more practice on my part.

If I Could Do My Business Career Over…

2008-02-11T09:23:00.000-08:00

When I was a youngster one of my dreams was to be a professional golfer, to play on the PGA Tour. The life of the tour pro seemed so glamorous—playing all the great courses, working outside rather than in a dreary office building, hearing the cheers of the crowd, and of course there was all that prize money they played for. As time went on, I gradually let go of that dream, and replaced it with a dream (that eventually came true) of making a living as a writer. But my passion for golf remained; in fact the first time I earned money from writing was for an article I submitted to Golf Magazine.

Recently I discovered something that I wish I had heard about when I was planning my career: golf schools, for example the San Diego Golf Academy. This is a two-year golf college that trains people for jobs in the golf industry. They offer a curriculum of both golf instruction and golf business management. Imagine taking classes in the morning to learn how to manage a posh golf resort and then playing golf or practicing in the afternoon. It sure sounds a lot more interesting than the MBA school I attended!

San Diego Golf Academy has four campuses, in Phoenix, San Diego, Orlando, and Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. They assist their graduates with finding just the right position at one of the more than 18,000 golf courses in the United States, or golf affiliated companies such as equipment manufacturers. Golf jobs are plentiful; this is an industry that has experienced tremendous growth in recent years; you can learn more at: http://www.sdga.edu/Career_Guide_Download.php.

What really impressed me about the San Diego Golf Academy were the credentials of the instructors. They are accomplished in golf instruction, some have had their own golf instruction TV shows and contributed articles to major golf magazines, and have managed some of the largest and most prestigious golf facilities in the world. A golf pro today is really a skilled business person who happens to love golf. If you’ve ever considered a career in the golf industry, this web site is a great place to start.

Book Review: "Playing for Pizza" by John Grisham

2008-02-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

Mega-bestselling author John Grisham is known primarily for his legal thrillers, some of which have been turned into motion pictures. He is an avid football fan, too, and occasionally takes a break from writing about the courtroom and heads for the gridiron. His first effort in that regard was titled Bleachers. Now he returns with another football novel, Playing for Pizza. It’s always a risk for a bestselling author to venture out of his readers’ comfort zone. They have certain expectations when they see “John Grisham” on the cover, and authors run the risk of alienating their loyal fans if they don’t meet those expectations. I can’t imagine being disappointed in this football novel, however.

I’d describe Playing for Pizza as Breezy and Thoroughly Enjoyable.

Playing for Pizza is one of those novels you can enjoy on several levels. Grisham gives us an intriguing, offbeat football story, a series of lovely postcard-like images of traveling through Italy, a good deal of humor--even a warm and hopeful ending in which the main character, quarterback Rick Dockery, achieves redemption not just on the football field, but through the possibility of finding love as well. He realistically portrays the downside of NFL gridiron fame and contrasts it with an Italian football league where the players are not in the game for money, but for the sheer joy of competition.

Rick is likable though flawed and Grisham’s supporting cast is full of quirky, interesting individuals. I really enjoyed the maniacal sportswriter character who comes all the way from Cleveland to Italy to carry on an in-print vendetta against Rick for ineptly ruining the Browns’ chances of winning a championship (by throwing three consecutive interceptions!). I wondered if that character might represent some of the rather nasty book critics in the media who take pot shots at Grisham’s novels from time to time, mostly out of envy because Grisham has sold so many millions of books.

All in all, Playing for Pizza is an amusing, fast-paced story that can be enjoyed whether you are a football fan or not. Check it out at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385525001/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Bargains Galore on Golf Equipment

2008-01-15T20:33:00.000-08:00

The Internet has created opportunities for golfers to save money on equipment in many different ways. Would you like to check out “clones” of famous (and expensive) brand names, which can be purchased for a fraction of the price? You can even order a set of custom made golf clubs that have been fitted specifically for you. How about sell your old clubs online and put the cash toward a new, updated set? Maybe you want demo clubs shipped to you so you can try them without ever leaving home. All this is possible. There are more choices, and better prices, available to golfers than ever before. And dozens of online retailers are fighting for your business, creating even more opportunities for you to save.

You can find golf equipment on ebay of course, but there are lots of other alternatives. You can try on golf shoes at your favorite sports store and then order the brand and model online. If your heart is set on a specific make of golf clubs you can easily find a number of sites that offer exactly what you want for less money than you might have thought.

Need motivational tapes to improve your golf game? You can find them. Or what about instructional videos from some of the top pros in the game? Use search engines to find what you need when you need it. Sometimes shipping is even free. The Internet means you don't have to pay retail ever again if you don't want to.

Brian

First playoff for the Packers!

2008-01-13T22:30:00.000-08:00

The bye week is over. It's been a long drought without a win in the playoffs. As luck would have it 2007's first playoff game for the Packers was against the Seahawks. Remember the last time? Game went into overtime and we barely squeaked through. Not this year. I honestly thought Holmgren was going to have a heart attack. Rumor has it that if he didn't get the Seahawks into the Super Bowl it looked like he would be facing retirement.

And Brett, I can't imagine he's thinking retirement after this season. He is playing in top form.

Brian

Consistency is important in your golf fitness program

2008-01-03T21:45:00.000-08:00

Consistency in Your Golf Fitness Program Counts

Your goal should be consistency. An intermittent exercise program won't work as well as one that is maintained throughout the year. When you find yourself lacking motivation to start your daily exercise routine, visualize impressing your buddies with the 30 yards you have added to your drives. If you live in a cold climate and enjoy watching televised golf in the winter, why not schedule your golf exercise time during the tournament. Focusing on the tournament drama might keep you exercising longer than you normally might. Just don't imagine that you will get in as good shape as Tiger Woods. That's not called visualizing, it's called dreaming. For those just starting an exercise program, John Daly might be a better role model.

And of course, before beginning any exercise program, consult with your physician to find out how much physical activity you can safely tolerate.

Walking can improve your golf game. Start off with walking for about 10 minutes, turn around and walk the 10 minutes back. Add a few minutes each day and before you know it you'll be walking and enjoying 45 minutes of exercise. You can carry small weights in your hands and pump your arms as you go for additional arm strengthening.

Don't let the weather stop you, if it's rainy or just too cold, exercise by jogging in place, going up and down stairs or joining a gym. Consistency is important. 15 minutes of exercise every day is much better for you then an hour and 45 minutes of exercise once a week.

But the first step is, get up off the couch!

Brian

Set Goals and a Budget for Golf

2007-12-31T11:55:00.000-08:00

The golf season is fast approaching. It may be snowing in some areas of the country but it's never too early to start planning for the upcoming season. Golfers who calculate the annual cost of playing their favorite game can be in for quite a shock. But it doesn’t have to be that way. A little Internet research can uncover incredible bargains for the golf enthusiast, to enable them to enjoy golf more and spend less:

§ Amazing discounts on equipment (even brand name)

§ Fabulous, affordable public courses (and even private courses you can play)

§ Secrets to planning a perfect golf vacation, and staying within budget

In fact, doing an annual budget for golf activities is a good idea. Figure out how much you spent last year, and set a goal for next year of, say, 20% more rounds played, but at the same cost, or if time is precious, set a goal of keeping the number of rounds the same and lowering your annual expenditure 20%.

Sounds too easy, right? Well, it really is that easy. The secret is, increasing competition in the golf industry and surplus “inventory”. A golf course can’t sell an unused tee time from yesterday. Once the next day comes, that tee time is worthless. So savvy managers of golf course facilities have learned to discount greens fees at certain less popular times, to encourage play, and to encourage each individual golfer to play additional rounds. It costs less to sell more golf to existing customers than to go out and find new customers.

An interesting NFL season so far

2007-12-27T14:45:00.000-08:00

Of course I'm pleased that the Green Bay Packers have a lock on the playoffs. It looks like we'll be playing Dallas at Dallas for the NFC championship.

The Patriots continue their run at a perfect season and I can't imagine any team taking them down at this point. The Colts have the best chance but they've been looking kind of sluggish in their last few games.

My favorite-to-hate team the Vikings are showing their true colors. Enough said about that.

Brian

2 Ways to Improve Your Golf Score

2007-12-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

- Making Golf Practice Time Count

Most golfers realize that spending time on the practice range is essential to game improvement—lowering your score. But it's surprising how little time golfers devote to practice. Or maybe it's not surprising: compared to the fun and camaraderie of being out on the course, hitting a bucket or two of practice balls seems downright boring. Here are some tips to making golf practice more effective:

Practice regularly
Have a goal in mind

Practice regularly. Just as going to the gym once a month and lifting weights doesn't build much muscle mass (and can result in injuries), a sporadic practice regimen is unlikely to significantly improve a golfer's game. The goal of practice is twofold: improving technique and building confidence. Have you ever gone out golfing for the first time after the long, cold winter and found that the club feels like a foreign object in your hand? A consistent practice routine helps you get the “feel” for each club in the bag. And playing good golf requires building a consistent, reliable swing, ingraining that ideal swing in your muscle memory so you can repeat it as needed when you are under pressure on the course. Many golfers mistakenly think they can “build” their swing during the round. The practice range is a better place to work on game improvement, because, you can his as many shots with one club as you need to gain consistency, whereas on the course, you only hit one shot with each club (assuming you advance the ball with each swing) and then use another club on the next shot.

Have a goal in mind. In between rounds of golf, pick up the scorecard from the round and take a few minutes to review how you played each hole. What part of your game is working well? Perhaps your drives were superior, or your chipping to the green was crisp and highly accurate. Then, think about where your swing let you down. Maybe you hooked too many iron shots and missed a lot of greens. After you do this review and critique, pick the worst problem areas and write them down. Then bring the (hopefully short) list with you to the practice range. Spend additional time on the problem areas, and work on your strengths just enough to keep those skills sharp. Good golf is mostly a matter of eliminating mistakes. Pros don't hit every shot perfectly, but they do know how to reduce the chance of scoring double bogies or higher.

What Most Golfers Don't Know About Saving Money

2007-12-18T14:25:00.000-08:00

…And Enjoying the Game More

It’s as simple as this: Golfers spend more money than they need to play their beloved game.

Too many of us end up paying full retail price for clubs at a pro shop when great deals on the same equipment are available online. Or we cheerfully pay the posted greens fee when with a little Internet research we can find discounts as much as 50% to play at terrific courses all over the world. Then there’s the double mistake we make on a golf vacation: first we overpay for the hotel room and then compound the error by paying too much for golf.

A vast universe of savings for golfers is right there at our desktop computer. All we have to do is know how and where to look. Besides opening our eyes to savings, we can become much more educated golfing consumers. We can discover discount travel packages to some of the top golfing resort areas in the world, including South Carolina, Florida or Arizona. It is definitely possible to play the courses you’ve always dreamed up and not have to take a second mortgage out on your house. And you don’t have to limit ourselves to golf in the United States. On the Internet we can learn, for example, that it’s possible to book a golfing cruise—yes, you can golf on your Caribbean vacation! Or how about visiting great courses in Spain or the Mediterranean and still staying within budget. You can.

There are so many choices to save money on equipment that it’s almost mind boggling. Besides discount retailers of brand name clubs, you can buy direct-from-the-manufacturer “clone” clubs that are nearly the same quality as the famous name clubs for a fraction of the price. You can visit auction sites and name your own price for the equipment you want to buy. You can sell your old clubs online and turn around and bid on new ones! It’s even possible to have demo clubs delivered directly to your door, try them for 5 days and decide if you want to make a purchase. If you don’t, just send the demo clubs back with no further obligation.

A lot of us have been conditioned to believe our passion for golf comes with a hefty price tag. With the Internet as our ally, that is not the case anymore. We can spend less, play more rounds of golf and have more fun.

Brian Hill

Window of Opportunity

2007-12-12T14:24:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I was talking to some of my friends who are Packer fans (to be honest that describes 90% of my friends), and one of them said, “Well, even if we don’t get to the Super Bowl this season, we certainly can in 2008.” Then he proceeded to tell me all the positions on the team that could use an upgrade: we could add another offensive lineman, maybe another tight end, and a team can always use more defensive backs.

I asked him, “Why do we have to wait ‘til next year?”

He replied, “It looks certain that Dallas is going to win the NFC this time around. Everybody says so.”

I could see this poor fellow is simply a victim of listening to the national media too much—the columnists and sportscasters who now seem to be instructing us on a daily basis that it in inevitable Dallas wins. In my opinion, their opinions mean nothing. These are the same peerless prognosticators who said last August that the Pack would be lucky to get to .500 this year.

The only way we should be concerned about any of this is if the Packers players and coaches were convinced it is inevitable Dallas wins. But they aren’t. In fact, they seem ready and eager for a rematch.

My whole problem with the “wait ‘til next year” philosophy is that all we know for certain is that we have a great team this year, and lots of breaks have gone our way in important situations during games, so now is the window of opportunity to get to the Super Bowl. Whatever you think causes a team to come together and be outstanding—team chemistry, the right blend of youth and experience, leadership, pure athleticism, having playmakers on both sides of the ball, having someone step up every week and make great plays—the Green Bay Packers of 2007 have that special magic. We didn’t realize it at the time, but they’ve had it since the opening kickoff in September.

You can’t depend on the team acquiring better players next year. Football is a game of subtraction as well as addition. Players age and lose their skills, teams can have a rash of injuries at key positions, and of course free agent defections can and will happen. Draft picks can turn out to be busts. There are no guarantees in the National Football League.

Just look at the nightmare that has become the Chicago Bears season. When I was doing my own forecast last August, I didn’t see any way the Bears would finish worse than 10-6. They probably didn’t either. But they had all those things I mentioned happen—age caught up to some players, they had bad luck with injuries, and a few key players departed in free agency or for other reasons. Now they are scratching their collective heads wondering how to right the ship.

The same thing has happened to a number of other teams that were predicted to be good this year, like the Ravens.

Football teams don’t seem to stay on an upward trajectory for a long period of time any longer. In the beginning of Mike Holmgren’s tenure as Packers coach, the team seemed to make incremental strides each year from 1992-1995, until they were ready to win the Super Bowl in 1996. But look at what has happened to this same highly skilled coach in Seattle. His teams have been up and down—he’s even had losing seasons.

One of my favorite “coachspeak” terms is “program.” A losing coach will observe, “That other team’s program is just a little further along than ours.”

What exactly does that mean, if anything? It just seems like an excuse. The Packers have dispelled the myth that it takes three years or more to rebuild your “program”. In the twenty eight games from 2005 to December 2006 the team was a dismal 8-20. In the next seventeen games, up through last Sunday they were a startling 15-2. That is a truly remarkable turnaround. It rivals what Lombardi accomplished from 1959-1960.

My dog has provided me with some insight and perspective on football that was better than anything I see on ESPN. If I fill her food bowl, she will stay there until she has eaten every last bit. If I fill it again, she will eat everything again—even if she isn’t that hungry anymore. To her, there is no guarantee they’ll be food in the bowl tomorrow. All she knows is that she has the chance to feast today. The future is now.

When all the stars seem aligned for a team, like they have been for the Packers this year, it’s important to seize the championship moment while you have it within your grasp. Fortune is fickle; it never stays with one team for very long. And the window of opportunity doesn’t warn you when it's getting ready to slam shut.

Just ask the Bears.

Déjà vu?

2007-12-04T14:22:00.000-08:00

At first glance, it might seem like last Thursday’s game in Dallas was an alarming flashback to the mid-1990’s, when the Packers methodically fought their way through each long, tough football season and made the playoffs, only to have their Super Bowl hopes and dreams crushed in Dallas. Here’s a look back at the gruesome results, for those of you with strong stomachs:

1993 Dallas 27 Green Bay 17
1994 Dallas 35 Green Bay 9
1995 Dallas 38 Green Bay 27

You’ll notice that last Thursday, the Packers held Dallas to 37 points, at least showing a one-point improvement from the playoff game in the 1995 season. Definitely a sign of progress for our defense.

But perhaps there were other positive signs as well. Not to minimize the great performance by the Cowboys, but this was, after all, just another regular season game. The media hype surrounding the game had more to do with the NFL Network’s desire to generate more cable subscribers than anything else. From the standpoint of a young team learning how to win, those great back-to-back victories in Denver and Kansas City were far more significant.

Brett leaving the game (especially since the injury appears not to be serious) gave Aaron Rodgers a chance to prove he can step in and rally the team in important situations. This was always a question mark before, with a number of people arguing that he didn’t have the right stuff to be an NFL quarterback. Now the question has been answered to some extent. If the Packers’ defense had held together in the fourth quarter, I think there’s a good chance Aaron would have led the Pack to victory. What I wonder, though, about an ambitious young guy like Aaron is whether his long-term career objective is to be the new Zeke Bratkowski.

I thought it was brilliant strategy on the Green Bay coaches’ part to not show the Cowboys our real offense, making them think all we do is heave the ball randomly downfield into double coverage. Won’t they be surprised when the playoff game comes ‘round.

Winning in Dallas is really the last significant mountain Brett Favre has to climb, in the case of away games. He’s tamed the dreaded Metrodome, which not that long ago looked to be a near impossible task. Far better that Brett earns this crowning achievement in a higher stakes situation such as the NFC Championship game in January, than in a regular season game we will have mostly forgotten when the playoff excitement starts. And as both a movie buff and football fan, I’ve seen over the years that Brett has an even keener sense of the dramatic than Steven Spielberg.

To cure his perennial struggles in Texas, one idea might be to have the team hire a hypnotist to try regression therapy on #4 and see if maybe in a past life he had some especially unpleasant experience in the Lone Star State that he re-lives when he takes the field at Texas Stadium. Maybe he was involved in that famous skirmish near San Antonio in 1836.

Reality Check

I was as disappointed as anyone after the game on Thursday. I was pretty certain the Packers would win. Everyone is touting Tony Romo these days, but it’s difficult to have complete confidence in quarterbacks who have thus far had more success with starlets than in playoff games. Joe Namath was a hell of a lot of fun, but with the game on the line you want the ball in Bart Starr’s hands.

So, still dejected on Friday morning I ran into a friend of mine at the local library who was as glum as I was over the outcome in Dallas. But then reality set in and I loudly exclaimed to her:

“Don’t worry, be happy. We’re 10-2!!!”

The librarian didn’t even try to “shussshhh” me, which is strange because she passionately roots for the Bears.

Night Game Nightmares

2007-12-01T14:45:00.000-08:00

Wasn’t that Dallas game fun? The fun part being when it was over and you could forget it ever happened. Watching a T.O. touchdown celebration never gets old, does it? Just like you look forward to shoveling snow.

At my house, we don’t really enjoy watching night games in any case, particularly those played during the work week. We like to unwind in the evening, have a glass or two of wine and read a book or watch a movie. In most films, the conflict builds to a climactic good vs. evil battle between an evenly matched protagonist and antagonist. And the clever filmmakers generally make sure that “good” wins. After we see the good guys prevail, we get a satisfied feeling that all is well with the world and can sleep peacefully.

Football affords us no such peace. For one thing, good doesn’t always triumph over evil. In fact over the course of NFL history, it’s only triumphed about 56% of the time. The other problem is we, the fans, are not just observers of how fictional characters deal with conflict—we’re in the middle of the action. Fans can feel the changes of momentum, the ebb and flow, as though they were right there on the field. Otherwise we wouldn’t be compelled to yell obscenities at the refs’ bad calls, or lose our composure when we see the Packers’ secondary perform with all the focus and concentration of 2^nd graders on the last school day before summer vacation.

If the Packers win the night game, then you’re so keyed up you can’t get to sleep until 1 AM or so, playing the touchdowns over and over in your mind or watching the highlights on TV over and over on the 24 hour sports channels. And then you wake up exhausted. If the Pack loses, you lie awake in bed replaying all the mistakes that led to the Packers’ demise that night. And when morning comes, you’re cranky.

A friend of mine has resorted to recording night games and then watching them the next afternoon. I thought this showed remarkable will power on his part until he admitted he peeks at the score on the Internet.

Life Imitates Art

2007-11-27T15:34:00.000-08:00

The game between Green Bay and Dallas this week has been billed as the most important contest of the season in the NFC, possibly a preview of the NFC Championship game to be played in January 2008. And as you may know, controversy has erupted because the game is being broadcast on the NFL Network, which is a TV station not available in all markets across the US. A lot of upset people who won’t be able to see the game have asked, Why don’t they just move the game to one of the “major” networks? Or simulcast the game on the NFL Network and one of the major networks?

I got an odd feeling of “Life Imitates Art” when I heard about this controversy, because this scenario is part of the plot of my novel Over Time. In my story, the rights to broadcast the Dallas vs. Green Bay game belong to a small cable company owned by the main character of the book, who is struggling financially and needs incredible ratings for the game in order to keep his company from going under. My character, a huge Packer fan, bought the cable channel because it owned the rights to that game. (In my story, the game is being played at Lambeau Field). When the game starts to take on eerie, almost supernatural similarities to the legendary “Ice Bowl”, a major network steps in and pays a fortune to simulcast the game, thus saving my main character’s company.

By the way, the Packers win the game.

Giving Thanks

2007-11-22T08:40:00.000-08:00

As we approach the holiday season, Packer fans have a lot to be thankful for this year. In 2007 the team has so far exceeded expectations that it’s almost as though we’re living some kind of beautiful dream.

--Demolishing the Vikings 34-0??? That’s the stuff of outlandish fantasy. Many’s the time we’ve been relieved to escape Vikings week with a 3 point victory—even at Lambeau Field.

--Winning nine of the first ten games—the fastest start since 1962. I’m by no means an old timer, but I seem to recall something special happened at the conclusion to that season. Perhaps it’s time to consider the possibility it will happen again.

Please, no one wake us up until after the Super Bowl!

But the truth is, Green Bay fans can feel blessed—and proud--every season. It might not be too much of an exaggeration to say it’s an honor to be a Packer fan. The Packers serve their fans a never ending all-you-can-eat buffet of fun. And I don’t mean cranberry sauce or that peculiar green bean casserole that’s only seen around holiday time. The Packer experience is more like sitting down at a huge table with where you’re surrounded by nothing but all of your favorite varieties of meat, prepared just the way you like them. So, grab a knife and fork and get ready to feast, because as we know, nothing tastes better than victory:

The Main Course: A Tradition of Excellence

The Packers are now in their 9th decade of league play. They have achieved winning records in 6 of those 9 decades. If you see the team play at Lambeau Field, there is a nearly two-thirds chance that you will see them win, based on the historical averages. On the road, there’s a nearly 50/50 chance you will see them win.

The Green Bay Packers have won more NFL Championships than any other team--12. No other team is even close to the Packers, except the mighty but temporarily hibernating Bears, with 9. The Packers have 21 players in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. In that category, we’re second only to the mighty but temporarily hibernating Bears who have 26 players enshrined.

The Packers don’t just play at a stadium; it’s more like a national landmark. People travel from all over the world to visit Green Bay and see the stadium—even during the offseason. There’s an undeniably magical atmosphere created by the blend of glory days past and the promise of championships yet to be. It’s like a museum and an amusement park combined. Only a handful of sports venues around the country can provide the visitor with such a special, unforgettable feeling. Remember, many NFL teams have trouble attracting people to their stadiums on game day, let alone on a blustery day in March when the players aren’t even at the facility.

Giving Thanks Part II

2007-11-21T08:42:00.000-08:00

The Packers have a fan base that is truly national—and exceedingly loyal. The Harris polling organization surveys football fans every year to determine which NFL team is the most popular. And every year, the Packers finish at or near the top of the list, no matter what the team’s won/loss record might be. At away games, it’s amazing to see how many Packer fans are in the stands. Sometimes the fans in green and gold occupy 20%, 30% or more of the seats. At one game I attended in Phoenix, the Packer fans nearly outnumbered those of the home team Cardinals. And the TV announcers said the same (rather dumb) thing they always do: “Look at all the people who came down here from Green Bay!” Sorry, Mr. Announcer, but the people came from no further away than Scottsdale. It was just a typical day in the life of

America

’s Team, and it is repeated at every away game, every year.

And so the Packer players have something to be perennially thankful for, whether they are having a good season or not: their truly amazing fans.

This widespread fan base also means that no matter what city you move to, you never have to feel alone. Just put on your Packer jersey and new buddies are just a sports bar away. It’s the ideal Alumni Association to belong to because, unlike college, you never actually have to study in order to graduate and become a member.

With the Packers, you get the opportunity to own a piece of your team, without having to be a member of The Billionaire’s Club. This is truly a blessing, because being a billionaire means you have to be arrogant, develop a rude, type-A personality and scream at your employees all the time. Simply put, having too much money is just too much stress, which is why I’ve worked hard at not becoming rich. It doesn’t seem worth it just to sit in a fancy luxury suite at the game and watch your $800 million investment get their doors blown off by a scrappy team owned by 110,000 people most of whom don’t even have country club memberships and who think foam rubber cheese is a fashion statement.

Being a Packer fan encourages you to maintain good health and set a goal of living a long, long time. This of course is because when you submit your application to be a season ticket holder, it will take around 50 years before your name appears at the top of the list. I think I better put in a good hour or two on the treadmill this afternoon. I wonder what the ticket prices will be in 2057?

We can also be thankful that we’ve had the opportunity to see some of our favorite players for ten years or more, special players to whom it meant a great deal to remain a Green Bay Packer. Players seem to come and go so quickly; we barely learn their number and they’re off to another team in free agency. But how about 15 years of being able to see Ray Nitschke play, 16 years of Bart Starr and 16 years (and counting!) of Brett Favre.

And one last thing I’m immensely grateful for as I think of all the seasons I’ve been a Green Bay Fan: anticipating the glorious games that are yet to be played, and the exhilaration we will all feel when the Packers win that 13^th NFL Championship.

And then the 14^th.

Pleasant Surprises

2007-11-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

One of the joys of being alive is when something unexpectedly good happens, a positive surprise, a gift that just arrives at our doorstep. For Packer fans, this football season, though only at the halfway point, has already been like that memorable birthday party from your childhood when you got every single thing you asked for.

A Fast Start…It’s A Miracle!
Since 2003, Packer fans had become accustomed to watching their team stumble out of the gate and have to put on a furious rally in November and December in order to have a chance for the playoffs. This season has shown a striking reversal of that unpleasant trend. How wonderful to think that the topic of Home Field Advantage might once again come up during Thanksgiving dinner, instead of unnecessary speculation about what the components are of that unusual stuffing in the bowl next to the turkey. Some things are just better left to our imagination.

Timing is Everything
A seldom discussed aspect of success in the NFL is catching a good opponent during a time of the season when they are struggling. Such as: Playing the Eagles before they figured out that holding onto the ball is in the punt returner’s job description (they apparently thought that dancing skills were the most important thing). Playing the Giants before they stopped listening to Tiki Barber and discovered they were a good team. And of course playing the Chargers while they were still adjusting to a new coaching staff and philosophy.

Not since the Lombardi Era…
Whenever you hear a broadcaster start a sentence that way, you know he’s about to say something positive about the Pack. Last week, the Not Since Vince was the amazing feat of having won six consecutive road games (including the end of last season). The team has gone from Road Worriers that sometimes played tentatively away from home and let excellent chances for victory slip away in maddening fashion, to a team of Road Warriors that never gets down on itself when the opposing team takes the lead.

Bouncing off “The Wall”
How many times were we told prior to the start of the season, that once Brett Favre turns 38 he will mysteriously and suddenly hit “the wall” and be unable to throw a football any longer, because that’s what happened to Elway and Marino, and thus it must be so, now and forever. I think the 40 or so defensive backs that have tried without much success to slow down the Packers’ passing game this season might respectfully disagree with that notion. And the top three quarterbacks thus far in average passing yards per game are: Favre, Brady, Romo.

We should all be lucky enough to hit a “wall” like that during the course of our careers.

Over Time, the novel

Pleasant Surprises Part II

2007-11-05T15:05:00.000-08:00

Here are more reasons Packer fans are so happy this season, and a look ahead to the last 8 games...

Winning the West
When the schedule came out last April, the game at Denver and then at Kansas City within a six day span seemed like a cruel Halloween trick. First the Packers have to wear themselves out trying to suck down enough oxygen to survive the thin Denver air, then fly to one of the most difficult places for the “away” team and attempt to concentrate on the game instead of on the great barbecue they serve there. Who concocts these schedules, anyway…Freddy Krueger? But the expected Nightmare at Arrowhead turned out to be a tasty treat indeed. In fact, winning both of those games might turn out to be the pivotal stretch that enables the Packers to re-capture the NFC North title.

The Felicitous Foursome
The “experts” said the wide receiver position might be a question mark for Green Bay in 2007, which is why an alternate definition of expert is someone who can speak fluently on any subject he knows practically nothing about.

With eight games in the history books, it appears that the foursome of Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, James Jones and Koren Robinson combined are as talented a group of receivers as the team has ever had.

(Except of course when Don Hutson took the field alone).

A Look Ahead...

Not to be greedy, but there are additional presents the Packers could give their fans in the 2nd half of the season, as the season of giving approaches:

A blowout victory or two at home might be nice, just to get us some Lambeau Mystique (in case you don’t recall, that’s a hard-nosed competitive attitude, not a cologne on sale at Kohl’s) in time for the playoffs.

Playing a strong game in Dallas will be important, because that’s one place the Packers really, well…um…stunk, when both Green Bay and Dallas had great teams in the 1990’s.

Beat the Bears. I don’t believe further explanation is required.

Bye Week Blues

2007-10-25T16:11:00.000-07:00

NFL Players and fans alike approach the bye week with mixed emotions. If your team is on a roll, like the Packers are this season, during the week you miss the adrenaline rush of anticipation for the upcoming game. There’s a void in your life. Your rhythm and routine seem disrupted. You might even feel a bit depressed.

On the other hand, since all the games so far have been nail-biters, full of stress and worry that the opposition was going to score late in the game and beat us, there’s something to be said for giving the old nervous system a week off to knit the frayed wires back together.

And the Packer players have more than frayed nerves: their bodies are starting to get seriously bruised and battered by this time of the season. They definitely can use a rest, and a break from the mental strain of preparing for each game (those that actually do prepare, that is).

Instead of moping around the house lamenting the fact there’s no Packer game, maybe we should get out and do new things this Sunday.

Physical Activity. Do you ever notice how NFL players seem to bounce back quickly from a bad loss, but fans of the teams remain in the dumps all week? The reason is physiological. Vigorous exercise releases chemicals in the brain that produce a feeling of bliss, even euphoria. This allows players to forget about last week’s loss and focus on the upcoming game.

(You remember euphoria…like when Al Harris picked off Hasselback in the 2003 playoff game and ran it back for a touchdown to seal the victory).

Getting out and exercising, then, is one way to rid the mind of Bye Week Blues. One disclaimer though: Tubby-wubbies who haven’t gotten up off the couch in, say, 25 years or so, should visit their doctor before starting any strenuous exercise. We don’t want to lose loyal fans to sudden heart attacks.

Attend Church on Sunday. Churches are those buildings you see people going in and out of while you’re on your way to the store to buy salami and cheese before kickoff. On Sundays in these buildings they put on several shows they call “services.” Churches usually have rousing music to begin the game, and a Coach who stands up and gives an inspirational message at half-time of the service. The Coach offers forgiveness to those in attendance for all the plays they messed up the previous week. And several lessons are usually read from the playbook. Prayer for the sick is always encouraged, whether you’re talking about an anemic offense, or a defense that has lost its way.

A pleasant surprise is that many churches serve delicious food between services. When you go, be aware that some terminology and customs may not be familiar to you. Be careful to not commit a faux pas such as asking why there aren’t any cheerleaders.

House Cleaning. I have a friend who, when the Packer games get too tense for her nerves to handle, immediately begins frantic house cleaning. She still pops in and out of the TV room to check on the score, but by keeping busy swinging the mop or broom, she finds that she is at least able to hold down her lunch. Her vacuum cleaner is so loud she can’t hear the inane commentary of the announcers, which is an added bonus. After our first six games this season, her house is pretty much spotless. A surgeon could set up shop in her kitchen and build up a successful practice. In fact, you can walk in her front door on a Sunday evening and immediately tell the how close the score was in the Packer game, by the overpowering scent of Pine-Sol wafting through her house.

Read a good book. If you enjoy non-fiction, I’d recommend a book titled The Making of a Bestseller. And reading a suspenseful novel about Green Bay Packer fans might be the next best thing to watching a game. In that case, I’d try a book titled Over Time.

Travel. Since gas prices are dropping back to reasonable levels, it might be a good idea to re-invent that old pastime, The Sunday Drive. Get in the car right before kickoff and explore our great country for three hours or so. See the vibrant Fall colors. Stop and buy a pumpkin or two. Bring plenty of music CDs so you aren’t tempted to check the scores of other games on the car radio. And never, ever, stop at a sports bar for lunch. You trying to take a break from the tension of football, remember. Packing a tasty picnic lunch and a blanket to spread out in a verdant meadow is a much better idea.

But, as you venture out into nature always remember: Don’t Feed the Bears.

Use Technology to Create An Imaginary World. I have a video collection of 50 or so Packer games I have taped over the last ten years. We usually play these during the long offseason, but it might also be fun to put one of these in the VCR this Sunday, and pretend that game is "live". This is analogous to a nicotine patch for the smoker who just can’t seem to quit even for a week. And, in the glorious little world of my VCR, the Packers always finish the season 16-0. Strange, but I can’t ever find the tapes of the games we lost. Except the tape of the playoff loss to Philadelphia that featured the gruesome Fourth-and-26 play. One morning I found that tape crushed to little bits on the driveway.

Admittedly, pretending an old game is new requires a certain suspension of disbelief, because you will see taped commercials for TV series that were cancelled a long time ago and you only have a dim memory of having seen them. But despite the passage of time, some things do remain constant, such as the remarkable breadth of John Madden’s waistline.

Watch Other Teams and Poke Fun at Them. If you simply can’t spend an Autumn weekend without the NFL, watch the Packers’ rivals play and laugh at their miscues and foibles. You’ll quickly see that ours is not the only team that has suspect play calling from time to time, or inexplicably fumbles the ball at the absolute worst moment. We sometimes take the Packers, and their tradition of excellence, for granted—especially in the last 15 years of almost uninterrupted winning. Put yourself in the other teams’ cleats for a while. For instance, pretend to be Vikings fans for a day, and then you will truly appreciate how lucky you are to root for the Green and Gold, kind of like when your mom urged you to eat those yucky lima beans or the broccoli on your plate—and appreciate that you have food at all—because there are starving children in other lands.

And cheer up! It’s not that long ‘til the 29th.

Coping With Defeat

2007-10-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

Now, you really didn’t think the Pack was going to finish 16-0, did you?

Even so, watching the third and fourth quarters of the game vs. the Bears was like enduring slow, painful torture. Even consumption of a tasty anesthetic lager didn’t seem to ease the suffering. And it was a strange, almost surreal sensation when the game ended, as though the numbers on the scoreboard had somehow been transposed to make it appear as though--NO!--we lost.

In times like these it’s helpful to step back and examine the situation with a fresh perspective. Here are some positive things that happened Sunday night.

Continuing to Build Team Chemistry. The game defined the term “team effort.” When rookie sensation James Jones fumbled away scoring opportunities not once, but twice, on other teams he might have encountered cold stares and even harsh words from his teammates when he got to the sideline. Not our Packers. Perhaps worried that the promising young player might go into a irreversible funk, veteran stalwarts like Brett Favre and Charles Woodson made a couple of foolish, ill-timed errors of their own, an interception and a fumbled punt, so their teammate would not feel isolated. This kind of unselfishness is what builds a championship mentality.

Discovering a New Frontier of Play Calling. There was something very unusual at the start of that game that clearly bodes well for the future. I’ve heard it originated in a mid-week strategy meeting between the Head Coach and Offensive Coordinator. The Coordinator had noticed that when the Packers were on offense, it appeared there were several players standing next to Brett, looking eager but perhaps a bit left out of the action. He mentioned to the Head Coach that these players didn’t seem to have much to do during the course of the play. “Any ideas?” he inquired of his boss, who thought carefully and then remarked, “We could have Brett hand the ball to these guys once in a while. And they could… run with it.”

“What a great idea!” the Coordinator exclaimed. “The other team will never expect it.”

“That’s why I get paid the Big Bucks,” said the Head Coach.

Helping Those in Need. You always get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside when you reach out to someone who’s going through hard times. So, at least for one night, we made the Bears fans happy, let them again experience the joy of winning on national TV. Most of us have friends or colleagues who are fans of our rivals from Chicago. We’ve felt their pain and desperation as they sank to 1-3 on the season (while we tried hard not to giggle). And with true Green and Gold generosity, we helped them rise above their struggles and experience what we’ve been enjoying for eight consecutive games. Packer fans are truly amazing people.

Guarding Against Overconfidence. Every year it seems there is a team that sprints out to a 5-0 or 6-0 start, then fades in November and December, and exits the playoffs after the first game. The cause of these late-season collapses is often simply overconfidence: the players get the erroneous notion they are invincible, start to relax, and forget the hard work--and lucky breaks--that enabled them to start off so well. The Packers were far too clever to fall into this trap. They knew that a bitter loss like the one they suffered on Sunday night could serve to keep them hungry, focused and motivated. They can come out fresh in the next game vs. Washington, without that heavy burden of having to keep a winning streak going.

Staying Right on Track. Let’s not forget how far above expectations this team has performed in the first five weeks, reversing the trend of dismal 1-4 starts the last few seasons. If we look at the Packers’ last three championship teams, here’s how they began the year:

1996 4 Wins, 1 Loss

1967 3 Wins, 1 Loss, 1 Tie

1966 4 Wins, 1 Loss

Feel better?

My Favorite Year

2007-10-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

Most of us have a favorite Packer memory, a season or even a game that stays with us forever. Packer fans are always at the top of the league in terms of their appreciation for the great teams and players of the past. As well we should—ours is the team that has won the most NFL Championships—12--a total only the Chicago Bears are anywhere close to reaching, with 9. (The New York Giants are a distant third, with 6).

Twelve Championship seasons—that’s an entire library of wonderful memories for generation after generation of Green Bay fans to enjoy. Sports memories are powerful things. It’s almost as though the excitement we experienced and the inspiration we received from a special game or an unforgettable season never fades, and we can tap into it as needed, sort of a bank account of exhilaration that can’t be overdrawn. After all, the whole point of having a passionate rooting interest in a team is that part of their success belongs to you.

I wrote a novel with the central premise that a group of lifelong friends who grew up in the 1960’s wish they could re-live the legendary Ice Bowl game—and their wish comes true. The effect of this magical event on their lives is profound: By reliving that moment of victory from long ago, they learn how to become winners in their own present-day lives.

If you’re too young to remember the Ice Bowl, you undoubtedly have another Packer memory you cherish just as much. Maybe it was the terrific 1996 season, when Green Bay won the Super Bowl, erasing all those years of frustration and failure that had occurred since Vince Lombardi retired. Going back a little further, who could forget the improbable success of the 1989 team, when Don Majkowski led the team to one amazing last minute victory after another, with a group that talent-wise wasn’t anything close to being championship material. Sometimes the best, most lasting memories are made when something wonderful happens that you didn’t expect. Which brings us to 2007.

When the 2007 schedule came out, the Packers’ prospects for the first 5 games looked grim. Right out of the gate, four playoff teams and a game at the Dome of Doom in Minnesota. Ouch! The consensus forecast by fans and media seemed to be that the Pack would win 7, 8, or 9 games this season—at best.

But Packer fans had a wish of their own for 2007: that Brett Favre would get to experience another season of greatness, and finish his career on top, as we all know he richly deserves. We probably would have been willing to borrow a couple of victories from future years (with apologies to Aaron Rodgers), if that were possible, and give them to this year’s team—and Brett.

After watching Sunday’s game against the Vikings, the improbable seems to be coming true. Even well-known skeptics and outright curmudgeons in the media are waxing poetic about the Packers. In four short weeks the Packers have gone from supposed also-rans to: “A legit team”; “An elite team”; “One of the four best teams in the NFL”; “A Super Bowl Contender”; “The Year’s Feel Good Story”.

As for Brett, he’s gone from being regarded by the press as an intriguing has-been to a player being spoken of as being in the running for MVP. Wistful nostalgia for the past has been replaced by eager anticipation of the future. Everything old is somehow new again.

These first four games have been amazing to watch. There is clearly something special going on this year. We were supposed to be satisfied with a gritty young team that would use stout defense and conservative games plans to stay in close games, and maybe win a few. Well, Greg Jennings blazing 57 yards through the Chargers’ secondary to score a go-ahead touchdown didn’t look gritty to me. It looked brilliant. It looked like what everyone expected the high-powered Chargers’ offense to do. It looked like a team that doesn’t let the concept of losing enter into their thinking process.

Sure, lots can happen between now and the end of the season. Lots of teams that start 4-0 sputter and stall by December. On the other hand, history has shown that Green Bay Packer teams that have started 4-0 tend to…win Championships.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if twenty years from now, you and your Packer buddies are having a back yard get together on a hot night in August, discussing the Packers’ prospects for the upcoming season with the aid of a few cold beverages, and one of your friends asks you, “What do you think was the most exciting Packer season ever?”

“You mean, what was My Favorite Year?”

“Exactly,” he says as he helps himself to yet another of your beers.

“I’d have to say 2007,” you say without hesitation.

“That was a season for the ages, wasn’t it,” he’ll reply. “The team achieved the impossible.”

And for a few moments it will be totally quiet in your back yard, as the memories come back, fresh and everlasting.

Why Football is Important

2007-09-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

As strange as this may sound, from time to time I’ve encountered people who are critical of my year-round passion (they often use the term obsession) for NFL football and the Green Bay Packers in particular. These individuals find it especially odd that:

--Each year I spend a lovely April weekend sitting in front of the TV watching the NFL Draft for 9 hours at a stretch.

--On Saturday nights in August, I check the score of meaningless preseason games every, oh, ten minutes or so.

--I let the national media’s goofy “Power Rankings” seriously elevate my blood pressure, when the Packers are not given the respect they are due.

--Besides watching every minute of every game the Packers play on Sunday, at my house we stay up until early Monday morning watching game highlights and analysis—over and over and over.

--We have two Christmas trees: a conventional one with colorful ornaments and pretty lights and so forth, and then THE PACKER TREE, with green and gold garlands and ornaments featuring somewhat rude, but festive, holiday greetings for Bears fans.

These skeptics try to tell me that if I cut down the hours I spend devoted to the Packers, I’d free up valuable time for other activities. What fabulous activities do they have in mind, I ask them: Yard work? Going to the opera? Visiting relatives I’ve never really liked?

I feel sorry for these people because they just don’t get it: Football Is Important. And here are a few--out of the hundreds--of reasons why:

Order out of chaos. It’s getting more and more difficult to understand the world around us—politics, the economy, international tensions, climate change. Events sometimes seem to be spinning out of control. And most of the time we can’t tell if we’re winning or not. Football is the opposite. At the end of the game, the scoreboard shows the absolute truth, expressed clearly, and for all time. Nothing vague, nothing uncertain. Total clarity.

Forestalling the bleak wintertime. A popular TV commercial has the tagline: Life Comes At You Fast! In many parts of the country, winter comes at you fast as well. Too fast. It seems as though you’ve just gotten back from the beach on Labor Day and snow flurries start to fall. NFL Football provides a kind of national hearth, where we can warm ourselves with our team’s success and avoid dealing with the grim concept of grey skies and freezing temperatures until after the Super Bowl in February.

Closing the generation gap. Who says parents and kids, or grandparents and kids, don’t have anything to talk about? Packer fans have 80+ years of glorious history to remember and discuss. Packer passion is something that is passed down the generations. It adds spirit and just plain fun to any family gathering. Let’s put it this way: Would you rather spend Thanksgiving dinner talking about complicated playoff scenarios or have a lively discussion about how Aunt Louise keeps that turkey so moist every year?

(continued in next blog)

More...Why Football Is Important

2007-09-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

Lessons about teamwork. You can learn important lessons about success in life from observing what succeeds in football. Coaches and players talk all the time about “team chemistry,” but it’s easy to spot the teams that have true chemistry versus those who just talk a good game. There’s a sense that they can overcome any adversity or bad break. Teams without that chemistry tend to splinter apart when they hit a bad stretch in the season. Watching your favorite team successfully deal with adversity can teach you valuable lessons you can apply in your own life and career. For instance, it seldom works to march into your boss’ office and demand to be traded to another company.

Turning total strangers into instant friends. Suppose you are out shopping, wearing your Packers sweatshirt and hat of course, and you encounter other people wearing the green and gold. You would have no problem saluting them with GO PACK GO! And they will undoubtedly respond in kind. You might even strike up a conversation about the upcoming game or the team’s prospects for the season. Contrast this cheerful camaraderie with just walking up to a random stranger and trying to strike up a conversation. They’ll probably run away or summon store security.

A boost of energy to get us through Monday. Think for a moment how different you feel at work on Monday morning after the Packers have won the game the day before. The challenges you face seem somehow less daunting, the co-workers who are normally unbearable seem less obnoxious. Then think of occasions where the Packers lost a playoff game the day before and you show up at the office grumpy and snappish. In such instances, I’ve found it’s more humane to your co-workers if you just call in sick.

A tree house for grown-ups. Human beings have a need to belong to a group, a tribe. And satisfying this need involves finding a tribe that fits your personality. Football addresses this need. And in true American free enterprise spirit, we have freedom of choice: 32 tribes to choose from. There are significant differences among the tribes. In California, for example, contrast the mellow, happy San Diego Chargers fans versus the permanent Halloween that is Raider Nation. Just go to any popular sports bar that has enough TVs to show a number of games at once, and observe how fans of a given team naturally cluster together—just like Neanderthal man seeking out a familiar, safe cave.

Good triumphs over evil. There’s something cathartic about watching a ferocious protagonist/antagonist battle, especially one where they are evenly matched and the outcome is in doubt. This has been true since the ancient Greeks staged the first dramas, right down to modern times and Hollywood movies, Westerns in particular. Look at the frequently used term to describe Brett Favre: gunslinger. He’s simply a modern-day “Shane,” the rare individual with the courage to stand up to any and all bad guys, and save the town—in Brett’s case 150 times thus far. One important difference though is that in the film Shane, the bad guy (Jack Palance) didn’t dress in purple. Somehow, that wouldn’t have been as menacing.

There are many other reasons of course why football is such an important part of our lives, of the very rhythm of our existence. I’ve always liked how F. Scott Fitzgerald expressed this in a wonderful short story he wrote about college football, The Bowl:

“All that is childish? Find us something to fill the niche of victory.”

Lucky Socks

2007-09-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

For a football fan, perhaps the biggest thrill you can experience comes from seeing your team win a game in the final seconds, and the biggest letdown is losing a close game. A blowout win or loss doesn’t seem to have the same emotional effect on us—perhaps because most of us have never actually stayed around to see the final seconds of a blowout loss, and we assume all of the Packers' games should be blowout wins, so we aren’t surprised when that actually happens.

But after this intense feeling of elation or depression fades, and the passage of time gives us a chance to look back at the game with at least a certain degree of objectivity, it’s an interesting exercise to ask the question: Why did the Packers win in such thrilling fashion? Or, Why couldn’t the Packers pull the game out at the end?

There are a number of factors that contribute to a team’s ability to win close games, and with the razor thin talent margin between so many NFL teams these days, that ability is critical to staying in the playoff hunt.

With the Packers, for the last decade and a half, it’s been pretty easy to identify one of the chief reasons the Packers win more close games than they lose: Brett Favre’s amazing will to win, or we could also say, his absolute refusal to lose. Having a player like #4 as your leader is bound to make the other players on the team more confident of victory. And in any profession, if you approach your task with confidence you are more likely to succeed.

The other important reason the Packers have been able to win so many close games over the years is:

US…THE PACKER FANS.

I don’t know how many hundreds of NFL games I’ve watched, but I’ve seen enough to come to the conclusion that the collective will to win of a team’s fan base is a kind of energy that is transmitted to the players on the field. And I don’t just mean the so-called “12^th Man” the media speaks of, the fans attending the games whose raucous enthusiasm creates a hostile atmosphere for the opposing team.

I would include the millions of Packer fans around the world who have never set foot on the Lambeau Field parking lot—or have never even been to Wisconsin. These are the loyal fans who gather in sports bars all around the country and live or die by how the Packers perform on Sunday. And of course the fans who put on their green and gold garb on Sunday morning and stay at home and watch the game on satellite TV.

How, you might ask, can the stay-at-home fan in California or South Carolina contribute to a Packer victory in faraway Lambeau Field? I’ve learned the hard way that for your team to be successful it is extremely important for you, the fan, to have a pregame ritual, and never deviate from it.

The two key aspects of the ritual are: 1) What you eat for breakfast on Sunday; 2) What you wear to watch the game.

The consequences of not sticking to the ritual can be disastrous, as you'll see in the blog that follows.

Lucky Socks - Part II

2007-09-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

The two key aspects of the ritual are: 1) What you eat for breakfast on Sunday; 2) What you wear to watch the game.

In 1995, I ordered a very nice hunter green polo shirt from Packers Pro Shop. I wore that shirt to watch every game from 1995 through 1998—as you well recall, tremendously successful seasons for The Pack. At that time I watched the games at a sports bar in Phoenix that caters to Packer fans—and serves fabulous hamburgers. Over time my shirt acquired at least one grease stain from each and every burger I consumed. By the end of the 1998 season, that shirt was starting to become an embarrassment, so I

de-commissioned it and bought a brand new gold shirt for 1999.

This turned out to be a bad idea. That season was the first one since 1991 in which the Packers didn’t achieve a winning record. I still wonder what might have happened if I had stuck with my trusty old grease-stained green shirt. Would Carolina have won that late fourth quarter victory against us in game #13? I sincerely doubt it. I blame myself to this day.

The pattern was repeated in this millennium. In 2001-2004, I wore another green shirt, which I again had to replace in 2005. Yes, I switched to a gold shirt and the consequence of that poor decision was enduring a long and torturous 4-12 campaign. As they say, those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Which brings us to the first game of the 2007 season. At my house, we have a pregame breakfast that never varies: hot cakes and sausage. I’m quite sure that our devotion to this menu has brought the Packers good fortune on numerous occasions, with the added bonus that medical researchers at the Johnsonville Institute have shown that sausage is one of the most important food groups for the maintenance of good health and guaranteeing longevity.

Unfortunately, the Friday before the game vs. the Eagles, we got some really bad news. We found out our Irish Setter had to go in right away for a root canal operation. (yes, a root canal, believe it or not). This was traumatic because you always worry when a dog has to go under anesthesia, and because the operation was going to cost $2,400. When I heard that, I needed anesthetic, too.

So, in all this confusion, we forgot to buy the pancake mix and sausage. And then right before kickoff I realized that my lucky green shirt was in the laundry, and the only clean one was the dreaded, jinxed gold shirt. Friends were coming over to watch the game, so I couldn’t wear a dirty, wrinkled shirt.

It was 1999 and 2005 all over again. I had to act quickly to chase away the bad karma. But I had no time! The teams were warming up on the field…The FOX network pregame team had already said their first 5 really inane things of the season…What could I do...?

I rummaged through every bit of Packer logo clothing I owned until I found a solution:

A pair of white socks with the green “G” above the ankle and green and gold on the bottom of the foot. I’ve always thought these socks were a little tacky, so I’d never worn them, but I was desperate, and I put them on right before our guests arrived to watch the game.

You know what happened. A thrilling last second victory for Green Bay against a perennially stubborn foe. Fresh hopes of reclaiming home field advantage. Visions of making the playoffs this season. The world seemed brand new.

I believe I owe all this good fortune to my LUCKY SOCKS. Now I can relax for the remainder of the season because I know that as long as I have these socks on, I have done everything I can to help the Packers win.

(Postscript: my Irish Setter came out of the operation just fine. However, my VISA card will require several months to heal).

Imagine What It Must Be Like...

2007-09-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

Imagine what it must be like for a Head Coach in the National Football League, right before a game. Think of all the emotions that run through him, the mixture of excitement and worry, the thrill of leading a group of men into battle versus the nagging concern that, perhaps, you haven’t done everything you could to get your players ready for the game. This is precisely the situation facing the fictional hero of my novel OVER TIME, the Head Coach of the Green Bay Packers, as you will see in the excerpt below.

In this scene, the Packers are about to take the field against a powerful opponent that has beaten them many times before. Green Bay’s Head Coach, Errol “Brick” Denton, is struggling to find the right words to inspire his players to victory. He has a young team this year, untested in battle, but undeniably talented, including a promising rookie quarterback nicknamed “Wildass”.

An Excerpt from the novel, OVER TIME
© 2005 by Brian Hill and Dee Power
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Seventeen minutes before kickoff, seven minutes before they had to go through the tunnel to the field. You could feel the vibrations in the massive cement and steel buttresses of the stadium, caused by the roaring crowd. It was not unlike the frighteningly exhilarating feeling the astronauts get when the giant rockets are engaged, and the tremendous forces are released, carrying them into the unknown. Seven minutes was all the time left for Brick Denton to make a difference in the game.

Suddenly, and totally unexpectedly, all of Denton's pregame uncertainty was gone; he felt completely alert, totally calm, totally in control. For the first time since he had accepted the job of Head Coach, he no longer felt alone. "Gentlemen," he began in a voice that was clear and firm.

"For too many years, we have had to take to this field and compete against two teams simultaneously. No one should have asked that of us. We had to play against the Bears some weeks, the Vikings on others. But we also had to compete against our own formidable team--every week--and all of the championships they won. We had to play a memory--one that got more grandiose over time. We were measured against them, and always fell short. We never had the toughness they did. We were paid too much. We didn't have the desire. We were spoiled, just in it for the money. We didn't try."

Now the players listened to his words. The gum was chewed more slowly. The eyes focused on Denton.

"How could we win, carrying that anvil on our shoulders? On this given Sunday, maybe it's time we threw this weight off, looked at things another way. When we take that field today, the tradition of excellence comes with us. It's our armor, our shield, not a heavy burden. We have won eleven championships: no team can match that. We don't have to exceed what those past teams did. The opponent has to try and exceed it. We already hold the titles. The titles belong to us. The nation is waiting for us to come back, they need us to come back. We play for small town America. We dare to do battle against the titans, the big cities, the rich owners. We play for the uncomplaining fellow who goes to work each day and does his damnedest. He doesn't get the recognition or the glory. He lives all that through us. When you win the championship again...and again...and again--which you are destined to do, I am absolutely certain, they won't just be dancing in the streets here....but in places all over the country that none of us has ever been to. People who couldn't find us on the map want a piece of our glory. We stand for something that people need in their lives.

"The media talk about 'America's Team' all the time. Well, what is America's Team? I will tell you. It is a team that plays natural grass, in front of fans who live and die by that team, who feel physical pain when that team loses; the games are sold out fifty years in advance, for America's Team. These games would not be a once a week amusement, they would be cornerstones of people's pride in their community, in themselves. The players, when they looked around them, would see history in all directions. I surely don’t deserve to be the Coach of America's team, I probably never will, but you damn well deserve to be its players. Harness the power of that greatness, gentlemen, of that tradition. It's here in the building. It's alive. It's not a ghost."

"I feel it, Coach," cried out Wildass, forgetting he was supposed to be a frightened rookie.

"I do, too," echoed in the room.

"Then play that way, men. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourselves. Write your names into the history books. The legends never died, gentlemen. You become the legends when you walk on that field. Our game goes on forever. Our season never ends. We never leave the field."

Denton then looked in each face, as though to impress the message permanently into their minds. Then he turned and opened the locker room door, and pointed the way.

Nobody Knows Anything

2007-09-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

This pithy little axiom was coined by Academy Award winning screenwriter William Goldman to describe the motion picture business, where everyone runs around Beverly Hills claiming to know what the next mega-hit movie is going to be, when in fact no one has a clue.

But Mr. Goldman’s observation is equally useful for NFL football fans at this time of year, when seemingly everyone with a word processor publishes their predictions of how teams will finish in the standings. Some of these “experts” in the broadcast and print media are quite confident, even cocky, about their forecasts.

For the past several years, the Packers have not received very much respect from the national media. For Packer fans, reading some of the extremely negative views about the team can cause unpleasant side effects such as irritability at work, elevated blood pressure, and even stomach upset.

I would advise not spending any time whatsoever fretting about what the scribblers and the chatterers in the media think about the Packers. A better strategy is to read their predictions and poke fun at them. Laughter truly is the best medicine.

Here’s an example: ESPN recently placed Green Bay in lowly 24^th place in their 2007 preseason Power Rankings behind powerhouses like the Giants, Redskins, Dolphins and yes, Cardinals.

Remarkably, ESPN says their Power Rankings were the combined effort of seven journalists. Did you know at ESPN they have a special committee of four seasoned broadcasters they call upon when a light bulb needs changing in the studio?

You see, Packer Nation (i.e. The United States), there’s really no need to let these people get to you, because THEY HAVE NO CLUE.

And this bold statement is easy to prove by just going back one year and looking at what they predicted for the 2006 Green Bay Packers. Let’s start with a widely read preseason magazine, Lindy’s Pro Football. On page 101, editor Howard Balzer gazes into his crystal ball-zer and comes out with some very curious predictions.

At least they are honest enough to subtitle their Prediction page “Another Chance to Look Foolish.” Here were Lindy’s predictions for the NFC North in 2006, along with Mr. Balzer’s comments:

(First Place) Chicago – If Rex Grossman stays healthy, this could be a special team.

(Second) Minnesota – Brad Johnson brings stability to a team that needs a hug.

(Third) Detroit - Can Mike Martz work wonders with Jon Kitna and Josh McCown?

(Fourth) Green Bay – It won’t be long until Brett Favre wishes he retired.

And now, for comparison purposes, let’s recall what really happened:

(First) Chicago – With a defense as awesome as the Bears’, who cares if Rex Grossman stays healthy?

(Second) Green Bay – By the end of last season, the rest of the league wished Brett Favre had retired, especially after he ruined the Bears’ New Year’s Eve party.

(Third) Minnesota – Brad Johnson was adding tremendous stability to the bench by the end of the season.

(Fourth) Detroit - The “wonder” was the admirable loyalty of the Lions fans who kept showing up for the games during a dismal 3-13 season.

For something even more irritating than the predictions in Lindy’s, let’s visit FoxSports.com, where a lad name Adam Schein said this was how the NFC North would look in 2006:

“NFC North

1. Bears 10-6
2. Lions 7-9
3. Vikings 7-9
4. Packers 3-13

Packers: I toyed with 2-14 for the Packers. But I just like Greg Jennings and Abdul Hodge too much. Or something like that.”

Wow. Those are some really putrid predictions. He was in effect saying the Packers would be just about the worst team in the league. I especially enjoyed his lucid analysis: “Or something like that.” These guys should at least include a caveat that their predictions have a margin of error of + or – five games.

Nobody Knows Anything Part II

2007-09-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

For more chuckles and grins, now let’s see what the "experts" are saying in 2007.

1) Paul Zimmerman (aka Dr. Z) at Sports Illustrated has the order of finish in the NFC North this way: Bears 11-5, Packers 6-10, Vikings 6-10 and Lions 4-12.

East coast-based Dr. Z seldom has anything nice to say about Green Bay. Possibly he’s bothered by the fact he wouldn’t know how to find the city on a map of the United States, even if you let his lovely swimsuit model pal Brooklyn Decker give him a few hints. (We all know that swimsuit models are much smarter than sports scribes). Interestingly, he’s listed as “Senior Writer” of the magazine. Makes you wonder how silly the Junior Writer’s predictions might look.

2) The Sporting News’ NFL Preview magazine has a much clearer view of the future: Bears 9-7, Packers 8-8, Vikings 6-10, Lions 6-10. This makes some sense. The Bears drift backward a bit, and the Packers improve their personnel but finish at .500 again because of their difficult schedule. The point is, the Packers may be closing the gap on Chicago. Sporting News’ bottom line evaluation: “This team will be better than people think because the defense has a chance to be very good and keep the Packers in every game.”

Now that’s some seriously good sports writing!

3) Returning to the dark side, here’s what Seth Doria of sports-central.org says:

Chicago 10-6, Minnesota 7-9, Green Bay 5-11, Detroit 3-13. He also makes the curious statement that the Packers will be the last NFC team to win a game. He also envisions Washington as his “breakout” team. But he doesn’t say whether they will be breaking out in measles, chicken pox, or just easily treatable acne.

4) Don Banks at cnnsi.com believes: “The Packers faced bleak prospects entering last season and wound up overachieving, so you can't rule them out of wild-card competition this year.”

Given some of the gloomy predictions we’ve seen, I guess that not being “ruled out” is a positive thing. Thanks, Mr. Banks!

5) Even Schein sees the light. Remember Adam Schein’s 3-13 prediction for 2006? Well, in 2007 he predicts Green Bay will be 8-8, finishing second in the NFC North. His comments are much more positive as well:

“The Packers play incredibly hard for Coach Mike McCarthy. Green Bay's defense has made a lot of progress, and with A.J. Hawk, Nick Barnett, Aaron Kampman, plus Al Harris and Charles Woodson at cornerback, it won't be pushed around.”

6) Over on msnbc.com, football contributor Bill Williamson wrote one of those “burning questions” columns, which included his answer to the question of whether Green Bay will be a playoff contender:

“No. Overall, the Packers are not an improved team and there is just isn’t enough offensive firepower to go on a big roll. The defense isn’t strong enough to carry Green Bay to the playoffs, either. The Packers will be lucky if they finish .500 again.”

Sorry, but it’s time to douse this guy’s “burning issues” because over at NFL.com, Steve Silverman wrote: “The Packers will be better than you think if ...

The young defense that improved so much last season continues to get better. Kampman leads a bunch of hustlers on the defensive line while the linebackers have game-changing potential thanks to the instinctive Hawk.”

And Associated Press Sports writer Chris Jenkins also says our defense will be the key to success:

“Yes, Brett Favre is back for his 17th NFL season. But if the Green Bay Packers are to improve on last year's 8-8 record and make a surprise return to the playoffs, it will likely be because Favre and the offense have taken a back seat to an underrated, deep defense.”

And in the same story, author Jenkins got Packers Head Coach Mike McCarthy to address the issue of the team’s perceived offensive weakness:

"I'm very comfortable with the ability of our offense to play whatever way we need to play to score points,'' McCarthy said.

Strangely, that almost makes sense.

As I reflect on the dozens of predictions I’ve read for the 2007 NFL season, the lesson I come away with is:

THE MOST TALENTED, INTELLIGENT FOOTBALL WRITERS AND BROADCASTERS TEND TO BE THOSE WHO SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT THE GREEN BAY PACKERS.

It’s really that simple.

The Love of A Rose

2007-08-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

Since we have to endure one more game in the exceedingly dull NFL preseason, I thought I’d switch from football to one of my other favorite subjects, and make this a DOG BLOG. (Just a quick editorial note: I think it’s time professional football dispense with the farce of charging fans full price for tickets to preseason games that are essentially practice sessions held at night.)

Anyway on to the story:

Three years ago this week, my dog saved my life. Her name is Rose. I won’t tell you what breed she is, so you can imagine your own beloved dog in her place as I narrate this story. It was early one Sunday morning. My wife and I were working in our back yard installing a new irrigation system. Rose played her usual key supervisory role of lying under a shade tree and watching us as we worked.

My wife went inside to get us iced tea. I continued working, on my hands and knees connecting the irrigation tubing. What I didn’t know is that a few feet from my head, coiled under a grape vine, was a rattlesnake that had somehow crawled through a small crack in the wall. There was never any rattle, never any warning.

I was about to get struck by a deadly snake, possibly in the eye or the throat.

But Rose sprang forward and got between me and the rattlesnake just as it sprang out from under the vine. Rose took the bite for me, and it struck her squarely on the nose. It occurred so quickly, I didn’t realize what happened, until I saw the blood coming out of two puncture wounds on her nose.

Our Vet was not open on Sundays, so we had to rush Rose to an emergency clinic on the other side of town. Her face and neck swelled up horribly as we drove, and she began having trouble breathing. The emergency Vet had to give her 3 full vials of the anti-venom treatment. It wasn’t until 11:30 that night that he told us she was going to live.

The bill for her treatment was $3,500 but I would have gladly paid $35,000—or sold my house and everything in it—to make sure she came back home safe and sound.

Today, she’s fine, and she’s snoozing on a chair in my office as I write this, blissfully unaware that the entire World Wide Web is learning of her heroic exploits. And there’s more to this story.

One year later: we had an elderly neighbor who was suffering from a variety of ailments and had trouble walking. He came out one day and went down his driveway to the mailbox. He somehow lost his balance and tumbled into the street, hitting his head and blacking out.

Rose, sitting on the couch in the front window, saw this. We live in a Midwestern-style tri-level house and both my wife and I were upstairs, at the other end of the house where our “home offices” are. We had no idea what had happened to our neighbor. Construction trucks rumble down our road all day long, and they may not even have seen him in the street before it was too late.

In true “Lassie” fashion, Rose barked hysterically, even banging on the window pane to try to get our attention. There was a special sound to this bark; it was definitely some kind of alarm. We came downstairs, saw Rose indicating the window, and then discovered what had happened across the street.

After our neighbor had recovered from this frightening incident, he told all his friends and relatives about this “wonder dog” across the street that had come to his rescue.

But actually, Rose is just your average awesome canine, the same as many of you have in the room with you right now as you are reading this. Besides being our best friends, I believe dogs were put here to be our guardians, ever ready to protect us from life’s calamities—no matter the danger to themselves.

I wrote a screenplay about the love between dog and man. It has been recognized by several writing competitions, and is now under consideration by several producers in Hollywood. (But at the snail’s pace Hollywood moves, it probably won’t be in the theaters for a long time, possibly even after Brett Favre retires in 2012.)

In the meantime, here’s a bit of dialogue from the script. This scene takes place at a dog park. A Veterinarian is talking to a young man about the difficult grieving process we face when we lose a beloved pet:

Dr. Ray:

"Dogs break our hearts because they leave us much too soon. An era of our lives ends with a beloved dog’s passing, and we grieve not just for the loss of our loyal companion, but because that era will never come back again."

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And I give thanks each day that I didn’t lose my “Rose” on that frightening Sunday morning three years ago.

You're A Good Egg, Goodell

2007-08-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

This feels strange because I’ve never written a blog entry like this before. I’m breaking new ground, thinking outside the box, pushing the envelope (or is it pushing the box and thinking outside the envelope?).

What is this groundbreaking development?

I’m about to praise an authority figure. Wow. I feel a bit dizzy.

In a lot of my writing, particularly screenplays and novels, I have great fun lampooning corporate greedheads, pompous politicians from both the right and left wing, the rich and fatuous, celebrity goofballs, and anyone else who seems in need of a good verbal shellacking.

But in the spirit of giving credit where credit is due, I’m going to suspend all satirical activities for a few minutes and actually hand out some plaudits to a high-profile public figure.

And a big huge deal authority as figure as well, the Commissioner of the National Football League, Roger Goodell.

I think he’s doing an outstanding job changing the moral tone of the NFL, and bringing a higher level of accountability. His assertion that playing in the NFL is a privilege, not a right—is right on!

Keep up the good work, Mr. Goodell.

The NFL Needs More People Like…

2007-08-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

Reggie White.

Another solution to the problem of bad off-the-field behavior in the NFL is to have more on-the-field leadership. We need more players who can serve as role models for their younger teammates, both in the terms of dedication to the game and dedication to being good citizens. In other words, both physical and moral leadership. To paraphrase Vince Lombardi: to do things right all the time, not just once in a while.

With the Green Bay Packers, I’ve seen two prime examples of that: Bart Starr and Reggie White. We all know what Bart Starr accomplished—5 League Championships—and what a great person and great leader he is. But defensive end Reggie White, although he is a Hall of Famer, perhaps never got the credit he deserved for the Packers’ success during the time he played in Green Bay.

Why did the Packers return to glory in the mid-1990’s? Most people would say it due to Ron Wolf’s skill at selecting players, Mike Holmgren’s coaching ability, and having a true winner like Brett Favre at quarterback. All this is true. But I think the key piece to the puzzle was when Reggie White joined the team in 1993. His leadership on defense served to encourage the other players to commit themselves to winning to a degree that had not been seen since the earlier glory years of the 1960’s—and he showed his teammates how to be better people as well. A lesson from his outstanding career is that ferocious play and high character are not mutually exclusive.

I remember a turning point when the Packers started to show signs of championship potential. It was a game in Lambeau Field early in Reggie’s first season with the team. They had stumbled out the gate and faced a critical early season game versus the John Elway-led Denver Broncos. The Packers responded well to the challenge and stormed out to a big lead. But as the game wore on, Elway, the master of comebacks, methodically led the Broncos back. It seemed as though the Packers were going to lose, which would have been a huge blow to a young team trying to find its footing and a path to the playoffs.

Late in the fourth quarter, Reggie more or less took the game over. He made sure the Broncos did not score the winning touchdown. And, for the first time in many years, the Packers did go on to the playoffs. But it was just the beginning of one of the most exciting times Packer fans have ever had, culminating with the championship season of 1996.

And the team has never been quite the same since he left, even though Brett Favre continues to be an outstanding player and leader, and Mike Sherman was certainly a fine head coach (and Mike McCarthy may become one). But in a number of important games, the Packers’ defense has had critical lapses, and sometimes does not play with the same focus and intensity that we saw in the 1990’s. Does anyone think the 4th and 26 debacle in the 2003 Playoff game in Philadelphia would have happened if Reggie White had been on the field?

I don’t think so.

So for the 2007 edition of the Green Bay Packers, the question is, who will be the next Reggie White?

Packer Puzzlement Part I

2007-08-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve been a Packer fan since I was about 8 years old, so one would suppose I should have a good understanding of the game by now. But, on the contrary, there are still a lot of things about the Packers, and pro football in general, that I find baffling. Here is a brief, and by no means exhaustive, list of the things that leave me puzzled, or in some cases hopelessly confused:

1) Practice Doesn’t Make Perfect. NFL teams almost seem to practice year-round these days. In the early spring, they have Teeny Camp, then Tiny Camp in May, then Mini-Camp where they re-learn what they learned in Tiny Camp, then comes the all important Maxi-Camp where they “install” the offense, then of course grueling Mega-Camp where they find out the offense they installed doesn’t work, so they install a new one—and then they head off to Training Camp in July and start all over again.

Given all that intensive practice and planning why do so many teams look disorganized, even clueless, when the first preseason game is played? I went to the Packers first preseason game in San Diego last year, and the offense looked as though they had just seen a football for the very first time that night, and were not sure what to do with the oddly shaped thing. I could picture Aaron Rodgers in the huddle saying, “Okay, guys, the objective is to move toward that goal post down there.” And then the offensive lineman remarking, with a little awe in his voice, “But it seems so far away…we’ll never get there.”

Then we have this year’s first preseason game, against Pittsburgh. Our first team offense netted a whopping 17 yards in its first 12 plays, and ZERO first downs. Note that if you’re 6 feet tall and fall forward 12 times you gain 24 yards.

Just imagine how poor their performance would have been if they hadn’t spent so much time ‘camping’.

2) When History Repeats. Why were the national news media so skeptical when the Packers hired Mike McCarthy as head coach? Seemed like a no-brainer to me. He was Offensive Coordinator for the 49ers, he’s a little pudgy, and his name is Mike. That’s one of the most successful business models the Pack has ever had in a coach. In fact, even if all he had going for him was his first name, history shows he is likely to win approximately 63% of the games he coaches, well above the all-time Packer team average of 56%. Just to be on the safe side, the Packers Executive Committee did a thorough background check on McCarthy to make sure “Mike” wasn’t just a nickname, and his actual first name was Lindy, Forrest, Lisle, Gene or heaven forbid, “Scooter.” Ideally, he’d be named Michael Vincent McCarthy instead of Michael John McCarthy, but we can’t have everything.

3) The Siberia Factor. I can’t tell you how many times I have read Internet posts warning that the Packers are about to return to being the “Siberia” of the NFL, the grim, dark place no really good players, particularly free agents, want to play. This almost seems like one of those nonsensical “Urban Legends.” People posting these dire warnings usually bring up the cold weather in Green Bay, and the small town atmosphere, as being major turn-offs for today’s young pro football players. But they never seem to come up with any evidence that the players themselves feel this way. If weather were any factor at all, then Arizona, Miami and San Diego would field consistently winning teams. But they don’t.

As far as small town atmosphere, you can’t discount the impact of being a friendly, welcoming place to live. As Bob Harlan has said, it’s the warmest cold city in the country. And here’s what first round draft choice Justin Harrell said about Green Bay: “Just riding through the neighborhoods, it looks a lot like home and it’s a place I know I’ll be able to get settled in and have a good time.”

I remember reading a classic story from the 1930’s about Packer players saying how fortunate they were to live and work in Green Bay, where there are so many great outdoor activities to enjoy—hunting, fishing, etc., in contrast to being stuck playing in New York where there was nothin’ to do. But it’s fair to say that players in those days weren’t paid quite enough money to enjoy all the diversions and delights available in the Big Apple.

Packer Puzzlement Part II

2007-08-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

A few more things that leave me confused about the NFL:

4) Don’t Show Us The Money. Why does the NFL publish the salaries of every single player and coach? Why is this information any of our business? In the corporate world, they usually guard the salary information like it has serious national security implications. Public companies have to disclose officers’ compensation, but the only public entity in the NFL is the Packers, so all this disclosure of personal finances seems unnecessary.

One of the reasons companies keep employees’ salary info under lock and key is that it prevents petty jealousies or simmering envy from disrupting morale in the workplace. We’ve all seen instances where a player being given a humongous new contract causes discontent with some of the lesser paid players on the team. For example, if Javon Walker hadn’t known what all the other receivers in the league were earning, would he have made those strident demands that the contract he signed (presumably in good faith) be renegotiated? It’s an interesting question.

5) Here’s Teddy…Why do so many people criticize Ted Thompson for not doing, shall we say, scintillating interviews? In other words, he’s rather boring to listen to. I wasn’t aware that being a stand-up comedian was part of the job description for General Manager in the NFL. Maybe we should try that. Billy Crystal would be a natural for GM of one of the New York teams. How about Robin Williams for the Raiders (if you can’t win, just laugh, baby!).

It’s especially impractical to expect Ted to reveal his draft day strategy, or plans for free agency (if any). For a NFL team, these are the equivalent of trade secrets, and talking too much about your intentions just gives a boost to your competitors. You don’t interview the President of Coca-Cola and expect him to tell you the secret formula for the Coke syrup. “You see, it’s that little dash of cinnamon we put in at the end…” Mr. Pepsi is likely to be listening.

Perhaps Packer fans just miss the blunt comments the more outspoken Ron Wolf used to make. But he’s gone, and we have a new era with some terrific new players. So let’s enjoy 2007, and the fact we still live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brett.

6) Cyber-Lombardi? It’s funny how Internet posters refer to Packer executives by their initials, as though they are old fraternity brothers of ours, people we’re very familiar with and probably send Christmas cards to. Our Head Coach is “MM,” our General Manager is “TT”. Then we all proceed to contribute our opinions on how we would undoubtedly be much more competent in their jobs than they are. What puzzles me is, where did all of us acquire this in-depth football expertise? Or are we just natural football geniuses? Lucky we didn’t have the Internet in the 1960’s. Woe betide the football “expert” who began his post, “Now, here’s where VL is really screwing up the offense: that play calling is so darned conservative.”

He might have been surprised to see a post later that day: “What the heck are you people writing out there!”

And then just to be on the safe side, he’d unplug his computer from the Internet.

Optimism or ...

2007-07-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

Green Bay Packer fans seem to be equally divided about their team’s prospects for the upcoming season, with the optimists and pessimists equally passionate about their point of view. The carryover of enthusiasm from the great finish to the 2006 season is tempered by the reality of the quiet offseason the team had in terms of signing free agents to fill some of the holes in the roster. With these conflicting factors in mind, it’s pretty easy to make a strong case for the Packers returning to the playoffs this season. And an equally solid case for not returning as well.

Some Good Reasons Why the Packers Will Make the Playoffs in 2007

An Electric Atmosphere. Sometime early in the season, probably around game 4 or 5, Brett Favre will break Dan Marino’s record for career touchdown passes. The anticipation leading up to this monumental achievement will be tremendous. It could certainly give an extra jolt of energy to the team, an additional competitive edge. And with the parity in the NFL, any edge helps.

Fresh Legs. Ahman Green was obviously a tremendous performer for the Packers. But age and injuries do take their toll, and he seemed to lose that amazing knack he once had of picking up the tough 1, 2 or 3 yards to make a first down. Maybe the new guys with fresh legs will have that knack, too.

Coaching Continuity. Last year, the Packers had to work a number of first year players into the lineup, were coming off a disastrous 2005 season and had an untested Head Coach. Given all that, an 8-8 finish was certainly satisfactory. All coaches face a learning curve, and Mike McCarthy’s performance in his second year will be better than in his first.

A Defense on the Rise. For the first time in a number of years, the Packers look to have a defense that can shut down opponents and allow Brett and the offense to get back on the field. A tough defense is just what the team needs to re-establish home field advantage.

Tough Opponents Adjusting to New Coaches. Dallas and San Diego have good teams and both of those games will be difficult for the Packers to win. But, they have new Head Coaches. Who knows whether changing coaches will help or hinder those teams?

More to the Difficult Schedule Than Meets the Eye. A football season has many ups and downs, and most teams have to deal with injuries to key players sometime over the course of the season. You don’t know in August whether the team you will be facing in October will be at full strength. Or whether that team might have a letdown after a hard-fought victory the previous week. Or which teams in December will already be looking ahead to next year.

We’re Overdue for a Fast Start. How many years in a row have the Packers started the season 1-4? It seems like forever. One constant in the NFL is that nothing remains constant. Perhaps 2007 is the year the Packers reverse this negative trend of stumbling out of the gate—and losing games at home.

Not Much to Fear in the NFC North. One of the brightest spots last season was the team winning 5 of 6 games in the division. And arguably the brightest spot was hammering the Bears at their home field the last game of the season.

The Grass is Greener Effect. Free agency usually looks better when observed from a distance. When another team signs a marquee name, we all say, “We shoulda signed that guy!!!” But, we tend not to notice a year or two down the line when that signing turned out to be a bust and a serious waste of money. The teams that actively shuttle free agents in and out do not necessarily improve themselves over the course of time.

Time for a Little Trust in Ted. During a game in 2005 in which the Packers were beaten badly, John Madden’s comment about their talent level was: the cupboard is bare. That was accurate. The Packers’ talent pool had been slowly drying up, probably since the 2002 season. We can’t say for sure, but it certainly appears that Ted Thompson has revitalized the Packers with a number of bright young stars. Just to be clear, I’m not advocating that we schedule a “Ted Thompson Appreciation Day” at the stadium just yet.

....Pessimism

2007-07-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

But Then Again, Maybe the Playoffs Are Wishful Thinking

Unproven running backs + young offensive line = mediocre running game (at best). If this equation turns out to be the case, then Brett is in for a long season of flinging the ball downfield and hoping someone (in our uniform) runs under it.

The Finish to 2006 Was A Mirage. The only truly impressive performance in the four wins was the last one, versus the Bears. The others were against lackluster opponents to say the least.

Whatever Became of the Tight End Position? When the Packers had their great run in the mid-1990’s the tight end position was a critical part of the offense. Lately, it’s been difficult to tell there actually is a tight end on the field. Oh, wait, he’s the guy who just dropped the pass.

Defense…What’s That? Before we get too excited about the defense, we might recall New England scoring 35 points against us and the Jets putting up 38—both games at Lambeau Field. And if you don’t recall, it’s because you got mad and turned both of those games off before halftime.

No More Lemons Out of Detroit. Similar to the notion that even the visually challenged arboreal rodent occasionally locates nutty nourishment, many experts are predicting that the Detroit Lions are due for a breakout season. Since the Bears are likely to be playoff bound again, there is at most only one other playoff spot open for another NFC North team. The Lions? What a strange world in which we live.

Buried Before the First Autumn Chill. Even the most optimistic Green Bay fans, myself included in that group, have to look at the first five games on the schedule with a certain amount of trepidation. And unfortunately, 1-4 has a familiar ring to it.

Hmmm…10 reasons why the Pack will make the playoffs, and 6 reasons they won’t. The crystal ball appears to be predicting a 10-6 season in 2007.

Sounds good to me.

2007-07-09T10:09:00.000-07:00

A Stripped Down Blog

I saw this item posted July 8 on on cnnsi.com’s “Truth & Rumors” page. It was culled from an article by Mark J. Konkol of the Chicago Sun-Times:

Tyna Robertson claims Brian Urlacher, the father of her 2-year-old son, has sent her more than 30 nasty text messages since January. In those messages, he allegedly called her a "hooker" and "jealous b----," among other things, and once made this suggestion: "make one of your pimps drive you around," according to court papers filed Friday in their child custody case. Robertson, a former exotic dancer who has been accused of shaking down men for money, has had court trouble with another famous man she once dated -- "Lord of the Dance" star Michael Flatley.
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So, aspiring writers in Packer Nation, sometimes no embellishment is required of us. In this case, the news story itself provides all the comedy we need to nourish the spirit and bring a smile to the faces or our readers. Packers Literary Corner can take this beautiful summer morning off and head for the golf course.

Y’all enjoy your day. See you at the 19th hole.

…

…

I just can’t do it.

I can’t leave without at least a few comments, or my hands will shake uncontrollably while I’m lining up three-foot putts.

Here’s a text message the Bears celebrated linebacker is alleged to have sent to his ex-stripper ex-sweetie on February 24 at 2:40 PM:

“Beat it no more of my time will be wasted on your skanky ass”

He seems to have reached a state of at least partial enlightenment precisely at 2:40 PM that brisk winter afternoon, though as someone who pens romantic screenplays, I hate to see unpleasantness break out so soon after Valentine’s Day.

Perhaps he just needs some advice on the subtleties of romance. I might suggest Mr. Urlacher read my novel Over Time. In that thrilling tale, the football star falls in love with a very lovely, very sexy—though excessively talkative—cheerleader. This is, as you of course know, the natural order of things in football. And in Over Time, the outcome of the affair is much more felicitous.

Or perhaps it’s just fortunate my novel’s characters from the Green Bay Packers Glory Years of the 1960’s did not have text messaging capability.

Can you imagine the text messages Lombardi would have sent to players who were fumble-prone or missed their blocking assignments?

Say No to Thugs! (a three-part blog series)

2007-07-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

“What the heck is going on out there???” the Great Man would say if he were here today commenting on the numerous incidents of National Football League players getting arrested—for all sort of crimes, from DUI, to physical violence to weapons charges. It’s really depressing when you look at the NFL headlines on Web sites like ESPN.com and most of what you find involves reports of players getting in trouble with the law. Sports are supposed to be a pleasant diversion from the ugliness we see in the international news headlines, or the forecasts for the real estate market.

The bright new NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, obviously wants to solve this problem, and he seems to be trying to get the message across that thug-like behavior won’t be tolerated. But the question is, are the players listening? Clearly, he has a tough task ahead.

Several sportswriters have observed that in reality, all that matters in professional sports is winning, and if you are a talented enough player to help your team win, it doesn’t matter what kind of citizen you are. The teams are willing to give the players any number of second, third or fourth chances, much more than an employee of a company in the “real world” would be allowed. Many corporations, in fact, don’t allow second chances whatsoever.

Packers Literary Corner wants to lend a hand toward making sure the NFL doesn’t end up being the Naughty Felons League. Maybe Mr. Goodell needs a catchy slogan that could be run in advertisements, to remind the owners and coaches (and fans) that integrity in professional sports should be as important as winning. How about:

SAY NO TO THUGS!

One big city newspaper took a look at the incidence of NFL players being arrested and compared it to that of the general population—and found the numbers very similar, almost as though the problem has been blown out of proportion. This is fuzzy logic at best, because NFL players are not part of the “general population.” The correct peer group to compare them to would be:

--Pampered millionaire celebrities who only have to work a few months per year.

And among this group, football players have had a higher incidence of running afoul of the law in the last several years, even if we count every single encounter Paris Hilton has had with the police, and give Mel Gibson double penalty points because of the foul-mouthed things he said to the police officer who arrested him in Malibu.

It’s time the fans let the league know that they want them to get rid of the players who can’t behave like decent citizens.

SAY NO TO THUGS!

Say No to Thugs! Part II: Some solutions for the NFL Players

2007-06-24T13:25:00.000-07:00

When a mom and dad notice their kids are turning into porky little chowbuckets, they often try to substitute healthier foods for all the Twinkies, cookies and potato chips the kids are tossing down their throats. Similarly, let’s see where football players get in trouble and recommend alternative, wholesome activities and entertainment for them.

1) Strip clubs. Athletes seem inexorably drawn to these establishments. The attraction is, of course, the varied and exotic creatures you see on display there. And in some strip clubs, they let you observe these creatures up close and personal. In others, you are asked to keep your distance, for safety reasons—yours and hers.

Substitute activity: visiting your local Zoo. Same attraction, actually: interesting animals, exotic habitat. But infinitely more educational, and the municipal Zoo has a much higher class of clientele for you to socialize with. I can’t recall a single incident of a celebrity athlete being arrested at the Zoo. Once or twice, a Zoo visitor might get bitten, but that can obviously happen at strip clubs, too.

Substitute activity 2: take up ballroom dancing. Why just watch others dance around the stage, or the pole, when you can sashay across the floor yourself? And an NFL player’s athletic ability gives him a leg up, so to speak, on the other people taking dancing lessons with him. Just look at how proficient Emmitt Smith became on Dancing with the Stars. Though he’s still no John O’Hurley.

2) Fights and other altercations in bars. Recently, even a Green Bay Packer, if you can believe it, got into trouble for allegedly pushing or shoving a female late one night in a drinking establishment. The alleged shover was starting linebacker Nick Barnett. (To be honest, I was not aware that shoving was considered a crime, especially after the times I have ridden the subway in New York.)

An unfortunate offshoot of this incident is now Packer fans have to listen to the taunts of the Viking fans: “Dude, that was the best tackle Barnett made all year!”

The reason so many athletes have unpleasant experiences in bars is simple: excessive alcohol consumption reduces normally intelligent individuals to a level of thinking just below moronic, and aggressive tendencies that would normally be repressed, from fans and players alike, suddenly emerge. Small-minded people who are envious of the money and fame that accrues to pro athletes sometimes deliberately try to provoke the athlete into an argument. Provoking a football player, who is paid to be aggressive, is never a wise choice. But as with NFL games when the Ref only notices the second person who threw the punch, the athlete often pays the price for a drunken fan’s outburst.

Substitute activity: Learn how to cook. Becoming a skilled chef is a lot of fun, and allows you to entertain your friends at your home, and avoid the bar scene and its associated unpleasant situations altogether. You will have to go out to shop for groceries, but fans you may encounter are unlikely to become belligerent in the produce aisle. For the football player who is single, the grocery store can be an excellent venue to meet eligible females, who will be impressed that you know how to use ingredients like radicchio and broccoli rabe.

Substitute activity 2: watch Political Debates. Take out these aggressive tendencies by yelling at the TV when a politician says something particularly idiotic. Since both major political parties are chock full of nuts these days, the opportunity to vent your frustrations is nearly limitless. You may never feel the need to visit a drinking establishment again.

Or, if you listen to enough political drivel, maybe you will.

Say No to Thugs! Part III: More solutions

2007-06-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

In the last part of our series on how NFL players can avoid getting into trouble with various law enforcement agencies, we take a look at causes and solutions for:

3) Weapons violations. Athletes seem to frequently have guns in their vehicles, sometimes several guns, when they are stopped by police. Some even have a cache of unusual and potentially illegal weapons in their home. Is there some reason NFL players feel less safe than the rest of us? I don’t own a gun, for example, and I sleep soundly at night. I have all the home security I need, courtesy of my trusty dogs.

By the way, my dogs love watching NFL football on TV; they run around merrily barking every time Brett Favre throws a touchdown. Oddly, though, when they see a game with Michael Vick playing, they growl at the screen.

Substitute activity: Collecting football memorabilia. If you think about it, hoarding guns may stem simply from an urge to collect interesting things. Nothing sinister at all about that. Ever see anyone get busted by the Feds at an Antiques Roadshow? So, how about filling your house with reminders of the thrilling football days of yore…when they played for the glory of the game, not just for money, and the nosy news media wasn’t watching NFL players’ every move, 12 months a year, hoping to spot them doing something wrong.

4) DUI. A crime that shouldn’t happen, because there’s this useful thing called A Car Service. When you’re out partying, you simply page your car service when you are ready to leave, and they send over a nice sleek Lincoln sedan to take you home, the driver wearing a neatly pressed black suit. It makes no sense that anyone with money, celebrity or not, would be so stupid as to drink and drive. You don’t have to be the brightest cop on the force to be able to spot someone weaving along the empty freeway at 3 AM in a $100,000 sports car.

One theory about why celebrities have such a high incidence of DUI is that they desperately want to be seen driving their $100,000 sports car, so they don’t want anything to do with taking a generic looking limo or hiring a car service. The fact that celebrities crave the fawning attention from their “fans” may be why they spend so much time on the town socializing in the first place. With football players, perhaps they get lonely in the offseason, when they aren’t hearing the thundering cheers from the stadium crowd, or have reporters hanging on their every word in the locker room.

Substitute activity: Grow up.

Midseason Form-Unfortunately

2007-05-15T15:46:00.000-07:00

When I started writing The Packers Literary Corner a year ago, one of my questions was, is there really enough absurd, even idiotic media coverage about the Packers in the offseason for me to do a weekly blog poking fun at it?

Silly me.

In the last few days I could have done an hourly blog, what with all the rich comedic material provided by the NFL scribblers and TV chatterers, on the subject of Brett Favre’s comments about the Packers not trading for Randy Moss. Offseason? What offseason? Some of these media numbskulls are in midseason form and it’s only May.

We don’t need a show titled CSI-Lambeau to get the facts of this simple case:

--Brett thought having another talented veteran receiver on board would make the offense run more efficiently. 99% of Packer fans agree with this.

--Brett has a burning desire to win here and now in 2007, not in some distant time and galaxy far, far away. 99% of Packer fans agree with this.

--Brett gets so frustrated with not winning that he can hardly contain himself and at times he might not choose his words as carefully as he should. 99% percent of Packer fans share that frustration, and express themselves far more colorfully than Brett did. At my house, we have had to replace a considerable amount of glassware.

If you’re a division manager of a large company, and you are given a sales target to hit, and then your boss refuses to give you the resources you absolutely need to hit that target, year after year—and you’re the one who takes the blame—then you’d be just as angry as Brett apparently got. You might even say, to hell with this job; I’ll go work somewhere else, where top management isn’t so tight with a buck.

So what’s the problem? With some of these sports “journalists” the problem seems to be, their boss gave them a word quota for that day, and they have absolutely nothing to say, so they end up producing excreta like the following, from the word processor of Adam Schein of Fox Sports.com. It can be smelled in its entirety at: http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/6810106

He starts off with the headline: “Packers Better Off Without Favre”

What’s wrong with that headline? Everything but the spelling. This is, flat out, one of the stupidest things I have ever read about the Packers.

First of all, how can an organization be better off without the most effective leader it has ever had, a leader who clearly still performs at a high level? It boggles the mind that anyone could say that. But making sense is not a prerequisite for employment in the major media.

But this little fellow is just getting started. He goes on: “Favre continuously popping off on management about not surrounding him with adequate talent, indirectly ripping his teammates, is a distraction and a detriment. So are the constant questions about his retirement.”

Bad writing here, folks. First of all, popping off means: “to speak in a burst of vehement anger.” That doesn’t sound like the way our soft spoken Southern quarterback sounds. It sounds more like, well, the way Adam Schein makes his living, which is why I wouldn’t waste much time listening to him on TV or radio.

How about the “indirectly ripping his teammates” part? That’s simply wrong. Brett has had to demonstrate tremendous self-control throughout his career, when baited by reporters to comment on the poor play of his teammates. Other star NFL players have not been so gracious.
Their initials might be: T.O.

Schein continues: “…is a distraction and a detriment. So are the constant questions about his retirement.”
This is funny. The same media that constantly pesters Brett with questions about his retirement from the moment he arrives at training camp in July, now says that by patiently standing there and answering their bonehead questions, he is causing a distraction and a detriment. Strange logic.

Before we assign a letter grade to this article, let’s show one more example of why it seems odd they make you take a test in order to operate a motor vehicle, but they turn virtually anyone loose on the airwaves:

Schein says, “Let Favre go play for the Dolphins or Jaguars.”

Here, he demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding about the Green Bay Packers. The team is owned by over 100,000 loyal fans across the country, and we don’t want Brett playing anywhere but for us. Ever.

And Brett doesn’t want to play anywhere else, either. There was never any doubt.
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Today’s Packers Literary Corner Grade for Adam Schein’s work
posted on FoxSports.com May 14:

Fluidity of Prose: D
Knowledge of Subject Matter: C-
Logic: F
Usefulness to Packer Fans: F-
Overall Grade: D-

Mystery Solved

2007-05-06T13:38:00.000-07:00

In the old days, writers, particularly those who wrote freelance articles for magazines, were paid by the word. Let’s say you wrote a 2,000 word article and the publication had a rate of 10 cents per word. You would earn $200 for an article. Let’s say your goal was to earn $20,000 per year from writing. That would mean you would have to write 200,000 words per year. A typical novel is about 100,000 words in length. So, the busy free-lancer of the past had to write the equivalent of two complete novels each year. This explains why not that many people made a living as freelance writers.

When you look at columns and articles at many sports-related Web sites, you have to conclude that the old days of pay-per-word must be coming back, because many of these pieces are chock full of breezy, chatty opinions, and tired repetition from other articles, but are low on facts, insights or original content. We’ve commented before at Packers Literary Corner about Sports Illustrated’s Peter King and his “Monday Morning Quarterback” series, which is thoroughly padded each week with tedious stuff such as his political views, notes on trival things his family is doing, or little hassles he encounters in traveling. But Mr. King is by no means alone in his low content- to- word-count ratio.

In the 2007 NFL “offseason”, if there is such a thing anymore, I’ll wager I have read or heard the following statement at least, oh, 15,000 times (I might be guilty of underestimation here):

THE PACKERS NEED TO SURROUND BRETT FAVRE WITH MORE WEAPONS ON OFFENSE

And when the Packers do things like pass on making offers to marquee free agent receivers or running backs, bizarre conspiracy theories emerge like:

Ted Thompson is sabotaging Brett because he’s jealous of Brett’s popularity.
Ted is trying to force Brett to retire.
Ted Thompson actually works for the Bears.

In fact, the Packers whole offseason personnel strategy has become something of a mystery to the fans. Many question whether there is, in fact, any strategy at all.

But then out of the gloom comes a succinct, fresh and stimulating viewpoint like the one penned by Tom Oates of the Wisconsin State Journal (http://www.madison.com/) in a column dated May 3. After I finished reading Mr. Oates’ article, the offseason mystery was solved and all became clear. He said:

“Indeed it has become increasingly apparent that Thompson is reading out of a 10-year-old playbook, one written by his mentor, former general manager Ron Wolf.

During the Packers’ Super Bowl years, Wolf spent his money elsewhere and handed Favre mid-round picks at the skill positions.”

He cites Packer stalwarts such Edgar Bennett, Dorsey Levens, Robert Brooks and Antonio Freeman as examples of how this method worked so well. All of these players had such successful careers with Green Bay, we forget they were not first or second rounders in the draft. Why did this strategy work so well? Oates says:

“All of those players were good, but none was truly special. The Packers got away with it because Favre was such a dominant player.”

Ted Thompson’s rigid adherence to this strategy is suspect, it would seem, because now Brett is 37 and cannot take over the game by himself anymore. As Oates says:

“He (Thompson) doesn’t seem to understand that Favre needs more help than he once did.”

This is a great, great, column. It clears up a huge mystery for Packer fans. Ted Thompson isn’t incompetent, as so many have argued in the heated debates that take place on message boards and in chat rooms; he’s simply following a very successful business model that his mentor implemented in the mid-1990’s.

It’s obvious to Packers Literary Corner that Ted is trying to build a kick-ass defense in the Ravens/Steelers/Bears model, and he’s hoping that Brett Favre can still make the so-so players on offense look better than they are, because of Brett’s skill, leadership ability and sheer will to win. I would also add, Brett's willingness to spread the ball around and locate whatever receiver is the least bit open. Will this plan work in 2007?

Maybe. If the new kick-ass defense can generate enough turnovers and get the ball back for Brett.

But in any case we can relax and enjoy the rest of springtime and summer. The Packers have a strategy, after all.

Thanks to Tom Oates for explaining this so clearly—and he didn’t require that many words to do it.

Amazing Psychic Powers!

2007-04-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

Now that we’ve all made it through another exciting, exhausting experience of watching the NFL Draft on TV, it’s good to step back, take a deep breath and analyze what we’ve learned.

The first comment Packers Literary Corner would like to make is respectfully submitted to fans who went to the Lambeau Field Atrium to watch the festivities: Perhaps next year they could refrain from booing our General Manager, Ted Thompson. There are several reasons we’d advise this, first being health concerns. Don’t wear yourself out booing the people who are on our side. Conserve your energy for when you will need to boo the loudest: when teams such as the Eagles, Bears and Vikings visit Lambeau Field this fall. Suppose your tickets are behind the opposing team’s bench. You’d hate to not have the strength to tell Rex Grossman what you thought of his performance in the Super Bowl, because you wore yourself out on Draft Day.

Pace yourselves, Packer People. It’s a long season.

Another reason is simple politeness. Most people around the NFL think Ted Thompson is an excellent judge of talent. Lambeau Field is Ted Thompson’s office. Suppose you walked into work and got booed each day. It might cause you to begin sending your resume to other potential employers. The most vocal of the Ted Thompson haters in the chat rooms and message boards might consider the possibility that if he leaves, his replacement could be much worse. The General Manager can only find the players, remember. He can’t teach them to come together and play as a team. Or to hold onto the football. Or to not throw interceptions. Or to not appear like confused roosters when attempting to play pass defense.

Now on to the thing that really amazes me about the NFL Draft, how the television networks, including ESPN and the NFL Network, manage to hire commentators and analysts all of whom have psychic powers. Where do they find such gifted people? I mean, no more than ten seconds after a player is picked, these TV Sports Psychics know whether that player’s career in the NFL will be a success. They can see five, ten years into the future! Not only that, prior to the pick being made, they know who should be picked. And after the pick is made, they know who should have been picked instead of the pick the team made. They know who will be the best players in next year’s Draft before this year’s draft is even concluded. It’s astonishing!

I used to think it was just a Mel Kiper Phenomenon, that his enormous dome of hair was some sort of clever concealment for an enlarged cranium, guarding a brain of truly amazing proportions. No, even the boys slowly going bald, like Chris Berman and Rich Eisen, have these psychic powers as well, as do the women covering the Draft like Suzy Kolber, whose hair styles change more often than the Dolphins switch quarterbacks. It’s not the hair at all. These are just superior beings.

Frankly, these people’s talents are being wasted on something as mundane as the NFL Draft. Mega-brains like these need to be applied to more challenging scientific issues like developing alternative energy sources and combating global warming.

And it ruins things for the fans, when it turns out it really doesn’t matter what we think might happen in the Draft. The TV Sports Psychics have computed all the answers before our primitive, feeble little fan brains can even crank into gear. I guess there is no need to subscribe to all those publications with Pre-Draft information and attempt to make our own predictions of whom the Packers might draft. The TV Sports Psychics know who Ted Thompson will select prior to Ted even knowing himself. And if Ted doesn’t pick who they think he should have picked, he has only himself to blame.

Amazing stuff!

Movie Review: The Godfather of Green Bay

2007-04-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

I have a difficult time choosing movies to rent at my local Blockbuster store. These days, Hollywood seems to be making more and more horror films, and not very imaginative ones at that. I don’t like slasher movies, horror flicks or other films that feature excessive blood, violence and gore. Why bother to pay money for such fare, I’ve decided, when if I’m in the mood for something frightening and gory, I can just pop a tape of last year’s Patriots/Packers game into the VCR, or for that matter the 0-26 debacle versus the Bears at home last season. (Just in case you don’t recall, the Packers proudly achieved the “0” that day).

At my house, we turn the lights down low, bring out the popcorn and sit fearfully by the flickering firelight—sometimes having to hide under our official NFL logo Packer fleece blankets, when we can’t stand to watch chilling scenes from:

The Game When the Defense Never Showed Up (a Bob Sanders production)

The Offense that Couldn’t Score... (a McCarthy/Favre co-production, with casting by Ted Thompson)

Given a choice, though, I much prefer to delve into my Video collection and pull out an action-packed movie set in a steamy, tropical locale:

Miami, Nice!

I also enjoy holiday films the whole family can enjoy, such as that recent New Year’s Eve classic:

A Dog Named Rex (nothing in this one to gross you out, man!).

Today’s Movie Review:

Given this shortage of interesting films at the video store, imagine my delight when I happened upon a DVD titled: The Godfather of Green Bay. And on the cover it showed a rugged Wisconsin-type guy in a gold shirt, and the title was printed in green (sort of a pukey green rather than the beautiful hunter green, but still intriguing).

I’ll skip the usual banalities movie reviewers employ, such as a dull recital of the plot, or weird comparisons to other films (it’s Spiderman meets the Exorcist on Titanic!), and skip right to the highlights:

Numerous scenes at a Packer Bar, with authentic Packer fans drinking real alcohol.

Many stirring renditions of the song, THE BEARS SUCK!

Realistic portrayal of the fashion hazards of deer hunting, such as how ridiculous grown men look in orange jackets.

Lovely Lauren Holly’s portrayal of the tall, THIN blonde we always wished we had known in high school in the Midwest.

The glorious scenery of Northeastern Wisconsin in the fall. The cinematographer involved in this somewhat low-budget movie did a great job filming the outdoor scenes.

A heartwarming ending in which the protagonist, an aspiring stand-up comic, gives up the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles to return to Packerland (and mainly to the lovely tall THIN blonde mentioned earlier).

As they say, Behold the Power of Cheese.

The Packers Literary Corner says, The Godfather of Green Bay is a Must See.

Over Time the Novel

Roadmap to The Playoffs 2007

2007-04-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

With the release of the NFL schedule for 2007, a lot of people have taken a crack at predicting how may games the Packers will win this year. My questions is, how can we get to 10 wins? That number is important because a 10-6 record almost always gets you in the playoffs. Last year, because of the relative weakness of the NFC vs. AFC, a nine win season was enough to secure a playoff berth, and the Packers almost made it with their strong finish and 8-8 record. When I first saw the 2007 schedule, I thought getting to 10 wins looked like quite a daunting task.

To me, getting to 10 wins absolutely requires two things:

--Re-establish a formidable home field advantage, which has actually been shaky ever since the Atlanta Falcons came in and beat us at home in the playoff game in the 2002 season, and the problem has snowballed the last three seasons. When the schedule maker gives you four home games out of the first six, you should start at least 4-2, not 2-4.

--No more stumbling through the first five games of the season, as the team has done in 2004, 2005, and 2006.

Looking at the individual games, I’ve circled four on the calendar that I think will tell the tale for 2007, and with the goal of reaching ten wins, the Packers need to:

1) Beat Philadelphia at home in Week 1. If we’re going to re-establish a home field advantage, we might as well get started right away.
2) Beat the Bears at home in Week 5. Here again, the Packers have had some embarrassing performances in recent years in nationally televised night games. What better time to reverse that trend?
3) Win either the game at Denver or the game in Kansas City in weeks 7-8, avoiding a 2-game losing streak.
4) Win at Dallas, traditionally a difficult venue for us.

The other wins in my 10 win scenario are, at home vs. San Diego (could be a very tough game), at home vs. Washington, Minnesota and Oakland, at St. Louis, and the final home game vs. Detroit.

In this scenario, I am allowing for a home loss vs. Carolina, which always plays the Packers tough, and, oddly perhaps, the Thanksgiving game vs. Detroit. The Lions almost always rise up and play a good game that day, and the Packers will have only a four day break between the Carolina game and the one in Detroit.

The other losses would come at NY Giants in Week 2, at Minnesota in Week 4, and at Chicago in Week 15. I’ve heard many people say the Bears will have clinched the division by then and will be “relaxing” before the playoffs begin, but teams only relax the last game of the season after clinching, not the 2nd last game. And the bitter taste of the whupping the Pack game them at home in week 16 last year—and the subsequent whupping that Rex Grossman got in the Chicago media—should be enough motivation for them to bring their “A” game.

To summarize, my scenario is to go 7-1 at home and 3-5 on the road. The games I have down at wins that I’m least confident about are the San Diego game at home, and the game at Dallas, but in each case we will be playing teams with new coaches. And having a new coaching staff always involves some uncertainty when those transitions occur.

Projected losses that could easily turn out to be wins would be the game at New York and the Thanksgiving game at Detroit, and the Carolina game at home.

So there we have it. A 10-6 season is clearly possible. But that’s easy for me to say. The only challenge I face during the games is making sure I don’t leave the brats on the grill too long.

The Nasty Airwaves (The Meaner the Ranting, the Higher the Ratings)

2007-04-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

The furor over radio shock jock Don Imus’ nasty remarks about the Rutgers Women’s basketball team reminds us of the larger issue of how rude much of broadcasting has become, particularly political talk and call-in shows of course, but sports are by no means exempt from this pestilence. And it even seeps into sports fan message boards and chat rooms, where the “discussion” often descends into name calling and other unpleasantness, instead of engendering a feeling of camaraderie among the participants or excitement about a given team.

Part of this money driven. Media companies notice the high ratings that sometimes arise from rantings like Imus’ and his ilk, so they seek out other thick-skinned broadcasters to dish out this pollution to listeners, or in some cases they coach the talk show hosts to inject more controversy into the programs.

In my view, life is too short and precious to waste time listening to or watching programs obviously designed to make you angry. Those of us seeking news and information from broadcast channels too often are subjected to opinions or advocacy instead.

There’s even a new kind of journalist, the “media critic,” employed to give his or her opinion on all the other opinion-givers out there in broadcast land. These individuals tend to be cheerleaders for the controversial broadcasters, endorsing personalities that are abrasive or “edgy” and labeling the nice people involved in broadcasting as “boring.”

I like boring sports broadcasters. I like broadcasters who blend into the background and let the game be the story, or are economical with their use of words. I prefer individuals who behave like gentlemen or ladies on the airwaves, broadcasters who have respect for the sensibilities of their audience. I just want to know the score of the game, who won and who lost.

I don’t need windy pontification about the grand social significance of this or that athlete, or this or that sports event. Because there is no grand social significance. It’s just a pastime (which the dictionary defines as: an activity that occupies one’s spare time pleasantly).

Wouldn’t be great if sports—and the people who talk and write about sports--could be fun again?

Or put another way, if it were up to me, there wouldn’t be any Don Imus controversy, because Don Imus wouldn’t have ever been on the air in the first place.

Positive or Negative: It’s Our Choice

2007-03-03T14:20:00.000-08:00

These days, staying positive is more of a challenge than ever. When we go out into the world each day, we are presented with a number of distinct choices:

Smile at people we meet, or frown
Criticize others at work or praise them
Laugh at the vagaries of life, or become angry and bitter from them
Demonstrate patience and grace, or rudeness and selfishness

The choice is ours.
The same is true of the media. They bombard us with negative messages from the time we awaken to the time we fall asleep at night (or try to fall asleep, because we are most likely fretting from all the dreadful things we’ve heard or read about that day). Just look at any of the news Internet sites, cnn.com, msnbc.com, etc. What do you see? In sum total, you find the inescapable conclusion of: We Are Doomed.

Of course, we aren’t doomed. But it takes a lot of mental energy to tune out all the negative things we encounter. It’s never as simple as the old song from the ‘40’s, “Ac-centutate the Positive, E-Liminate the Negative.” We 2007 Americans have to settle for more modest expectations: “Discount the really terrible, tone down the merely horrible.”

So, why is it so hard for writers and broadcasters to say something nice, something hopeful, something positive? They have a choice, don’t they…

On a small scale, I’ve had some experiences with the media that left me with difficult choices to make. When I was out publicizing my book, THE MAKING OF A BESTSELLER, which is about the road writers take to become bestselling authors, I was a guest on many radio programs across the US. One morning I found myself on a station in Minnesota, in the heart of Vikings country. And the host of the program was a HUGE Vikings fan.

This happened to be in the Spring of 2005, right after the Packers had lost two stalwarts on their offensive line to free agency. Things were looking a bit bleak in Packerland.

The portion of the show devoted to my book went along smoothly, then the host noticed in my bio I had written a novel about the Packers, OVER TIME. He immediately pounced:

Bob the Host: “So, Brian, the Pack’s having a rough offseason, eh.”

Brian: “I suppose, but it’s still early in free agency, Bob.”

Bob the Host: “Yah, but we’re signing star players, and you’re losing ‘em right and left. Any chance you’ll switch over and root for the Vikings?”

There, on live radio, I was presented with clear and dangerous choice: say something positive, or something negative. Just think of all the alternatives I had. I could have answered:

“Sure, Bob. The same chance the Vikings will need to build a bigger cabinet to hold all of their Vince Lombardi Trophies.”

“Sure, Bob. The same chance you cheapskates will build a real stadium instead of playing in the Humpty-Dumpty Dome.”

“I don’t know, Bob. I prefer watching NFL-style football.”

“Sure, Bob. The same chance I’ll give up bratwurst for lutefisk.”

But then, I would be just as bad as all the media personalities I’ve been complaining about, wouldn’t I?

So, I took the high road:

Brian: “Well, Bob, I suppose in this crazy world, anything’s possible.”

I was relieved to find out later that Packer fans in the listening audience clearly understood the coded message: NO LIVING WAY, NOT IN THIS GALAXY OR ANTOHER ONE, NOT IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT.

Which NFL teams are the most “Literary”?

2007-02-15T13:25:00.000-08:00

From time to time during the broadcast of an NFL game you will hear the announcer describe one of the teams as a “storied franchise.” The dictionary tells us the word “storied” means “celebrated or famous in history or story.” In the case of a football team, how would we measure this? Which franchises are the truly “storied” ones?

One reflection of a team having attained “storied” status might be the number of books published on the subject of that team. To get some answers, I visited Amazon.com and did a simple search of their online bookstore, typing in the name of (each NFL team) + football. Using this method, the top-ten most written about, the most “storied,” the most literary NFL teams (out of a total of 32 teams in the league) turn out to be:

1. Dallas Cowboys
2. New York Giants
3. Green Bay Packers
4. Chicago Bears
5. Washington Redskins
6. Cleveland Browns
7. Miami Dolphins
8. New York Jets
9. New England Patriots
10. Detroit Lions

There was a wide disparity between the top of the ranking and the bottom. The top four teams were each cited more than 400 times in the Amazon.com search, the lowest ranking team, only 45 times. The average for all the teams was 185.

Why are some teams written about so much more than others?

Experience Counts
The Giants, Packers, Bears, Redskins and Browns are all teams that began in the early days of the National Football League. They have the most accumulated history, so it makes sense there would be more good material for writers to draw from. Younger teams, sometimes referred to as “expansion” teams, were far down the rankings. The Carolina Panthers were #28, the Jacksonville Jaguars were in position #30, the Houston Texans #32.

Winning is Everything
The teams that have won the most NFL Championships are the Green Bay Packers (12-time champions), Chicago Bears (9 times) and the New York Giants (6 times). These three teams are all in the top four. The top team in our ranking, Dallas, has won the league championship 5 times. Americans are fascinated by success, and love to read stories about winners, champions, heroes—whether to vicariously participate in that success or re-live a well-remembered championship game where their team came out on top. The Steelers and 49ers, two other teams with a rich tradition of winning championships, also finished high in my Amazon.com literature search rankings, 11^th and 13^th respectively.

‘Cuz The Publishing Industry is Centered in New York City
The two teams near the New York metro area, the Giants and the Jets, both made the top ten. This is partially due to the fact that both these franchises have enormous fan bases in this hugely populated area, and therefore there is a large market for reading material about the teams. But we should also take into account that the editors of the New York based publishing houses would obviously be familiar with the Giants and the Jets, perhaps even be fans of these teams themselves. Aspiring authors are often advised to “write about what you know,” but more seasoned writers know that it also helps to “write about something your editor understands.”

The Most Well-Read Football Fans Are Located In…
The National Football League is divided into two conferences, National (NFC) and American (AFC). About 60% of the books cited were about NFC teams. Each conference has four divisions of four teams each, designated East, North, South and West, roughly based on geographic location of the teams. The NFC East division, the NFC North and the AFC East each had three of their four teams in the top 10 of the rankings. The fourth ranked division in terms of numbers of books was the AFC North. Interestingly, two-thirds of the books were about teams in the East or North divisions in each conference. This doesn’t necessarily mean that football fans in colder climates read more than those in warmer climes. Remember, the Miami Dolphins are in the AFC East division and the Dallas Cowboys are in the NFC East.

The Power of Numbers
Each year the Harris polling organization does an online survey, released in late September, asking people to name their two favorite pro football teams. In 2005, the results were as follows:

Green Bay Packers 16%
Dallas Cowboys 14%
New England Patriots 13%
Pittsburgh Steelers 13%
Philadelphia Eagles 10%
San Francisco 49ers 10%

The Cowboys, Packers and Patriots, who finished 1-2-3 in the Harris poll, all finished in the top ten of our literature search on Amazon.com. To a significant degree, large fan bases translate into strong demand for books about that team. The “most popular team” designation fluctuates from year to year, though. A team that was successful the previous season will attract some “bandwagon effect” fans and their popularity will rise, while a poor year on the field means that a certain number of fans will hop off the bandwagon. These days, with so much parity of talent in the NFL, teams’ fortunes can rise and fall quickly.

Given the long lead times in book publishing, a writer could plan a book about a team that appears near the top of the Harris poll one year, only to find that by the time the book comes out, the popularity of that team has significantly ebbed.

Some teams do retain a large “core” fan base no matter how well they do on the field. It is a good bet that a well-written book with a fresh perspective on one of these teams would find a ready audience.

One thing is certain: Fans of each and every NFL team are eager consumers of literature about their heroes. Hopefully, my research may help break down some of the unfortunate tribal stereotypes that arise between bitter rivals in the NFL. For instance, Giants fans have always assumed that Cowboys fans get most of their information from video games and daytime TV. Not so. Cowboys fans are the most well-read of all. And it may come as a shock to Chicago Bears fans that Green Bay Packers fans actually know how to read, when in fact the cheese wedges they wear on their heads were actually designed to be a handy way to store and carry books.

Millions of NFL football fans around the globe have found that reading about their favorite team’s history, lore and accomplishments is a great way to spend a crisp autumn afternoon. This is particularly true during times when the current edition of their beloved team is having a losing season. Books help keep the memories of past championship glory alive forever.

Are you ready for some READING?

Meeting Mr. Nitschke

2007-01-01T18:31:00.000-08:00

In the 1990’s I used to watch Green Bay Packer games at a great sports bar in Phoenix, Arizona, The Red Onion Lounge. The bar was owned by a family from Wisconsin, and it became one of the most popular gathering spots for Packer fans in Phoenix. To say this bar had “regulars” was a major understatement. The same people were at the bar each Sunday, year after year. In fact, you could reserve your favorite table, and you would see the same faces at the adjacent tables—season after season. Many friendships were formed in the bar; even a romance or two blossomed.

A game I will never forget happened on September 17, 1995, not because of the action on the field, but what occurred in the sports bar. This was a brutally hot summer day, the temperature well over 100 degrees. The bar was packed. It was stuffy and hot in the low-ceilinged room as we waited for the Packers to take the field against the New York Giants. Only the ice cold pitchers of beer kept us alive.

Then, the door to the bar opened and bright sunshine streamed in, the kind that hurts your eyes. We saw a familiar—and formidable--figure in the doorway. It turned out the owners of the bar had invited a special guest to join us.

Ray Nitschke.

What happened next was remarkable enough that I included a fictionalized account of it in my novel OVER TIME. The theme of the novel is that for Packer fans, the Glory Years will never end, and the memories of our favorite games, and favorite players, remain powerful forces in our lives--always. We can draw upon this inspiration whenever we need it, like an everlasting bank account.

A character in my novel, an attorney named Mike Thornton, really needed inspiration that day. He believes he has seriously screwed up at work and is in imminent danger of being fired. He's worried, dejected, and almost ready to give up. So, we’ll pick up the story with Mr. Nitschke appearing in the doorway…
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An Excerpt from the novel, OVER TIME © 2005

He was a man who earned his place in the sun by playing football with an intensity and authority that could be perceived by the fans in the highest rows of the stadium. He came to symbolize the toughness required to be a Green Bay Packer on Vince Lombardi's teams of the 1960's, and remained one of the most beloved of all the players who wore the green and gold, many years after his retirement, and he stayed close to the team through great years, good years, bad years, and awful years. He even kept his name in the local telephone directory so the fans could reach him, should they need him.

In Scottsdale for a celebrity golf tournament, Ray Nitschke had been invited to visit the Central Division Bar & Grill by the owners, two brothers who grew up in Green Bay. The Green Bay Packers were playing their first exhibition game of the season, a night game that was carried on the satellite, which meant that the bar was filled with Packer fans who survived the long spring and summer without football, and the kickoff that evening was welcomed like the first beer on a Friday night after a long week at a dead-end job.

When Ray walked into the bar, there were no introductions required. First there was a ghostly quiet. Then the fans stood and applauded. Perhaps it was his unlikely and memorable appearance: a serious, professorial face on a massive body, or simply the power of enduring excellence, but the bar rocked with cheers, a salute not just to him individually, but to a dynasty of long ago, by eternally thankful fans for whom the football seasons of the 1960’s remained much more alive than a memory.

Even Ray was somewhat taken aback by the instant adulation in the Central Division Bar, though he had felt it many times before.

As Mike reflected on his imminent doom, Ray Nitschke took a seat a table near the front of the room and obliged the fans who wanted his autograph. People went out to their cars and brought back all sorts of strange things for him to sign--game programs, footballs, even winter jackets with the team's logo on it. It was a hot night in August in the desert Southwest, and no one in the bar knew that Ray was coming except the owners. The true sports fan is prepared for all the wonderful possibilities of life.

The game was about to start, and the bar owner asked over the loud speaker to give Ray a round of applause for being gracious enough to give them the autographs and visiting the humble pub to watch the game. This round was louder than the first one, punctuated by a chant of, "Ray, Ray, Ray," which used to occur on crisp autumn Sunday afternoons after he caused a running back to eat the turf, especially one who had briefly entertained the unrealistic intention of scoring on the Green Bay Packers.
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As the scene continues, Mike Thornton waits his turn in line and gets Ray’s autograph—even gets to talk to him. After he meets this hero from his youth, he realizes the game of life may not be over after all…and leaves the sports bar with his will to win restored.

How To Talk To A Vikings Fan…If You Must

2006-12-15T00:45:00.000-08:00

If you are a football enthusiast whose career involves a significant amount of travel, one of the challenges you face is how to keep up with your favorite team while on the road. And how to enjoy the Sunday games when you are far away from those you love:

Your comfy couch
The pantry where your favorite snacks are stored
Your large capacity refrigerator located within 20 feet of said comfy couch.

You can of course sit alone in your hotel room and watch the games, but Green Bay Packers fans tend to be sociable creatures who seek out others of their own kind. And, it seems like those hotel room mini-bars can get depleted so quickly, almost as though the beverages disappear right before your eyes.

Another alternative is to find a sports bar and watch the games there. But, unless you can find one of the enlightened bars that cater specifically to Packer devotees, you may face a sticky diplomatic problem: What do you do if you encounter a Minnesota Vikings fan?

One time I found myself in just this situation. I was visiting one of America’s Great Cities on a Sunday afternoon, getting ready for a book signing event for my novel, OVER TIME, and found a wonderful sports bar with a reputation for excellent food and featuring large screen TVs. The crowd there was a mixture of many different teams’ fans, quite a few from the NFC North. I was sitting at the bar and just about to plunge into a bowl of terrific chili. It had the three necessary ingredients to all great sports bar chili:
1. Lots and lots of cheddar cheese (I always appreciate it when a restaurant tries to make me feel welcome)
2. A generous amount of spice (causes the pale Seahawks fan’s complexion to turn an amusing shade of red)
3. More meat than beans (reducing the possibility of unpleasant fourth quarter emissions from Bears’ fans)

I was just about to plunge into the aromatic bowl when I noticed a menacing purple figure next to me. I looked over and (NO!) it was a Minnesota Vikings fan.

He looked at me at precisely the same time, scrutinized the Green and Gold attire I had on and scowled. After what seemed like a long time, a thought formed in his head and he uttered in a growling voice:

“I hate the Packers and I hate Packer fans.”

Strong words, those. You don’t hear the word “hate” very often in your life—especially directed at you. For a moment, I had that incredulous look of a Malibu cop encountering a liquored-up movie star late at night on the Coast highway. I simply didn’t know what to say. Nothing snappy or clever came to mind.

If this ever happens to you, here are some strategies to defuse a potentially ugly situation:

1) Avert your eyes. Seeing the Vikings colors and garb can bring about an overwhelming urge to giggle. Put another way, if historical Viking explorer Erik the Red had been named Erik the Purple, would he have been such a feared warrior?
2) Never, ever mention the terms “NFL Champions” or “Super Bowl” to a Vikings fan. Alas, the trophy case at Vikings headquarters remains barren, and it would be bad form to remind him of that. Packer people are above such behavior.
3) Maintain the high road. Don’t come back with insults like, “How come your team’s owner’s name sounds like an ineffectual comic strip character?” This will bait him into blurting out, “Well, your owner—“ And you’ll have to interrupt with, “Is 110,000 people from all 50 states.” This will just lead to more unnecessary conflict. After all, when you’re America’s Team, there’s no need to brag.
4) Compliment his city. You might say, “The arts and culture scene in Minneapolis is amazing! You’re so lucky to live there.” He will recall the last visit he made to a downtown strip club, drift off in pleasant remembrance, and probably forget you are even in the room.
5) The ultimate olive branch: say something positive about his team. No, no, I don’t mean a snide remark like, “Way to go, guy! I see the number of your players arrested has dropped 50% this year.” I was thinking of something much friendlier such as, “You must have a helluva offensive line to be able to protect a quarterback as old and brittle as Brad Johnson.”

So, when confronted by the surly Norseman, what did I do that day? I smiled, offered to buy him a beer and said, “I completely respect your opinion.” And then he and I watched as the Packers beat the Vikings.

I’ve always believed that, in the final analysis, actions speak louder than words.

Before I left the bar that afternoon, I gave Mr. Viking Fan an autographed copy of my novel. Surprised, he thanked me and asked, “Is this book about football?”

“The best kind of football,” I replied, as I walked out into the crisp October air.

Imagine what it must be like…

2006-11-07T13:24:00.000-08:00

Coping With A Losing Season

2006-10-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

Make no mistake about it: I think the Green Bay Packers will turn their season around and end on a very positive note. But unlike some of the windbags who do sports commentary on TV, I’m willing to concede the slight, even infinitesimal possibility, that I could be wrong. What do I mean by a “windbag”? Well, here’s an example of one, a quote I pulled from Foxsports.com and their NFL Sunday anal-yst Jimmy Johnson:

"Two years ago, Brett Favre would have been too big for Mike McCarthy to control. Now people have grown tired of all his retirement talk and of his 29 interceptions ... I know I am."

Just like the wind, gusts of nonsense like this blow away and are quickly forgotten. Let’s just hit the delete key. And Jimmy’s quote now looks like:

“

“
Much better.

Fortunately, there are some strategies fans can employ to endure--even enjoy-- losing seasons. Because Packer fans don’t have much recent experience with defeat, I researched this topic by calling friends of mine who root for perennially awful teams. They were kind enough to give me some very good ideas on how to keep Sunday suffering to a minimum when your team’s season slides down into the dumpster.

Physical Activity. Do you ever notice how NFL players seem to bounce back quickly from a bad loss, but fans of the teams remain in the dumps all week? The reason is physiological. Vigorous exercise releases chemicals in the brain that produce a feeling of bliss, even euphoria. This allows players to forget about last week’s loss and focus on the upcoming game.

(You remember euphoria…like when Al Harris picked off Hasselback in the playoff game and ran it back for a touchdown.

What a wonderful feeling that was…)

Getting out and exercising, then, is one way to rid the mind of unpleasant thoughts about a bad game. One disclaimer though: Tubby-wubbies who haven’t gotten up off the couch in, say, 25 years or so, should visit their doctor before starting any strenuous exercise. We don’t want to lose loyal fans to sudden heart attacks.

Go to the Movies. Hollywood is suffering from a drop-off in box office receipts lately. This trend is troubling because it means Hollywood studios won’t have enough money to make good movies anymore. (Bad movies are generally much less costly to produce than good ones). Even though it may be difficult to sit through some of the dreary, incomprehensible films being shown today, it’s important we support the fabulous American institution called “the movies” so they will someday be able to afford to bring us better films.

Attend Church on Sunday. Churches are those buildings you see people going in and out of while you’re on your way to the store to buy salami and cheese before kickoff. On Sundays in these buildings they put on several shows they call “services.” Churches usually have rousing music to begin the game, and a Coach who stands up and gives an inspirational message at half-time of the service. The Coach offers forgiveness to those in attendance for all the plays they messed up the previous week. And several lessons are usually read from the playbook. Prayer for the sick is always encouraged, whether you’re talking about an anemic offense, or a defense that has lost its way.

House Cleaning. One friend of mine, when the Pack falls behind by 10 points or more, immediately begins frantic house cleaning. She still pops in and out of the TV room to check on the score, but by keeping busy swinging the mop or broom, she doesn’t have to witness the football carnage in its gruesome entirety. By the end of last season, her house was pretty much spotless. A surgeon could have set up shop in her kitchen and built up a successful practice. In fact, you can walk in her front door on a Sunday evening and immediately tell the Packers went down to defeat that day, by the overpowering scent of Pine-Sol wafting through her house.

Stay Away From Dyspeptic “Chat” Forums on the Internet. I used to think a viable way of getting rid of negative emotions built up during a losing game was to visit football forums and “vent.” I’ve come to the conclusion that this does an individual more harm than good. For one thing, you encounter people on these sites who claim to be so close to the team that they know what’s going on behind the closed doors of the locker room. The information these people provide is generally unreliable, because with a losing team, not even the players themselves understand what’s going on in the locker room. And the coaches surely don’t.

Also, the solutions to the team’s woes offered by the relentlessly negative “posters” on these sites are generally not too practical, taking the form of: “Fire the Coach!” “Fire the GM” “Fire the Players!” “Fire the Groundskeeper!” The rhetoric can get nastier than a board meeting at Hewlett-Packard. And according to some of these chat folks, the only indispensable participants in the Packers' efforts are the people who sell the beer at the stadium.

Travel. Since gas prices are dropping back to reasonable levels, it might be a good idea to re-invent that old pastime, The Sunday Drive. Get in the car right before kickoff and explore our great country for three hours or so. See the vibrant Fall colors. Stop and buy a pumpkin or two. Bring plenty of music CDs so you aren’t tempted to get the game on the car radio. And never, ever, stop at a sports bar for lunch. Packing a tasty picnic lunch and a blanket to spread out in a verdant meadow is a much better idea.

But, as you venture out into nature always remember: Don’t Feed the Bears.

Use Technology to Create Your Own Imaginary World. I have a video collection of 50 or so Packer victories I have taped over the last few years. We used to play these during the long off-season, but it can also work to put one of these in the VCR on Sunday, and pretend that game is today’s game. In the glorious little world of my VCR, the Packers always finish the season 16-0.

Admittedly, this requires a certain suspension of disbelief, like when you see commercials for TV series that were cancelled a long time ago and you only have a dim memory of having seen them. But despite the passage of time, some things do remain constant, such as the remarkable breadth of John Madden’s waistline.

Nobody Knows Anything

2006-09-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

One of my all-time favorite contemporary writers is William Goldman. He has been vastly successful as a screenwriter, winning two Academy Awards for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and All The President’s Men. But he has also written terrific novels, and two of the best non-fiction books about the screenwriting business. These latter two books have educated, inspired and influenced many aspiring screenwriters, myself included.

Mr. Goldman is credited with one of the most succinct and widely quoted statements about Hollywood, “Nobody Knows Anything.” Meaning, it’s wise to be skeptical when you encounter people who proclaim themselves “experts” about what makes a great screenplay, a great book—actually all literary activities.

Mr. Goldman’s axiom certainly applies to pro football as well. The scribes and TV chatterers who predicted gloom and doom for the Green Bay Packers are now, after the team’s weak performance against the Bears, no doubt congratulating themselves on their sagacity. They told us our team would be lousy, and those of us who disagreed with that notion should, these people believe, finally wise up and give up on our team.

Not going to happen, because it’s apparent that this new edition of the Green Bay Packers is infused with youth, speed and athleticism—ingredients that have been sorely lacking for at least four years. It’s the kind of team that can improve every week, and by the end of the season, be remembered as the group that had the will to begin the climb back up toward the top of the mountain—where they keep that trophy we all admire so much.

Packers Literary Corner believes it would be incredibly bad judgment to turn our backs on our team after Game #1.

I have a feeling there will be lots of drama and achievement before the season is done, something chronic naysayers always miss out on.

And as I recall from the early-to-mid 1990’s, as compared to the disappointment of the last four years, the upward climb can be full of thrills and surprises—and is a hell of a lot more fun.

That’s why Brett came back.

And Finally The Season Is About to Begin…

2006-09-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

The Packers Literary Corner is dedicated to recognizing excellence in print and broadcast football journalism.

After conducting exhaustive, statistically sound research for more than 20 years, involving sampling the opinions of countless hundreds of football fans in various states of intoxication in sports bars throughout the US, and spending thousands of hours reading and listening to everything I could find about the sport of pro football, I reached a startling--but inescapable--conclusion:

THE BRIGHTEST, MOST TALENTED FOOTBALL WRITERS AND BROADCASTERS ARE THOSE WHO SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT THE GREEN BAY PACKERS.

Unfortunately, a corollary conclusion from my research revealed that the people who are the most negative about the Packers tend to have seriously enfeebled minds.

Today we will present both kinds of writing to you:

KUDOS and CONGRATULATIONS GO TO a citizen/journalist named Felipe from New Canaan, Connecticut, as quoted in Peter King’s Internet column of Tuesday, September 5:

"I know the Packers did horribly last year and so expectations should be much lower. But I don't understand why we are counted out by every expert. We had the No. 7 defense last year and it improved during the offseason. We have our top two running backs back, which should lead to Brett Favre throwing less and making fewer interceptions.”

You can see the letter to Mr. King in full at:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/peter_king/09/05/mailbag/1.html

This was fine, fine literary work.
--Thoughtful
--Reasonable
--Clear
--Positive
--Polite. The writer could have begun with a personal attack such as, "Your predictions for the Packers suck." But, of course, Packer People don't behave that way. Instead, he graciously conferred the status of "expert" on Mr. King, to whom he sent the letter.

Now let’s turn our attention to a benighted lad named Adam Schein at FOXSports.com, who attempted to write a column about predictions for the upcoming season. The attempt failed.

You can read it in its dismal entirety at: http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/5934082

Here’s what he predicted for the NFC North teams:

“NFC North
1. Bears 10-6
2. Lions 7-9
3. Vikings 7-9
4. Packers 3-13

Packers: I toyed with 2-14 for the Packers.
But I just like Greg Jennings and Abdul Hodge too much.
Or something like that.”

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WOW. This is breathtaking in its absurdity. Packers Literary Corner has difficulty understanding how a sentient being could bring himself to publish something this foolish.

Then I noticed the picture of Mr. Schein at the top of the column. He appears to be about 12 years old. So this again shows why it can be dangerous to turn children loose on word processors.

He might take note that discerning readers generally demand more rigorous analysis than, “Or something like that,” to back up outlandish conclusions.

Luckily, writers generally gain wisdom and maturity as the years go by. To be fair, in 15 years or so we my take a look at Adam’s work again, to see if he has made progress toward lucidity. Based on his work quoted here, noticeable progress may take the full 15.

In Praise of San Diego: My Favorite Road Game Experience

2006-09-03T14:25:00.000-07:00

Obviously, no football experience can compare to watching the Green Bay Packers play at Lambeau Field, but I feel a moral obligation to support our team when it is playing on the road as well. This preseason, Packers Literary Corner attended a game on August 12 in San Diego. My decision to go to this game had nothing to do with the perfect weather, fabulous beaches, great restaurants and attractions like Sea World. I would have gone to Miami and watched a game as well. Sacrifices sometimes have to be made if you want to be known as a true-blue Packer backer.

When planning a trip to a road game venue, a certain amount of caution must be taken, because some of the opposing teams’ stadiums can be hostile toward visitors with foam rubber cheese as their signature fashion statement. It used to be great fun to attend a game at the resort and retirement community of Tampa Bay, for instance, and on several occasions Packer fans seemed to occupy at least half the seats in the stadium. Now, I have heard, the Buccaneers try to limit the number of tickets sold to Packer fans, and generally create a more hostile atmosphere for us should we go to a game there. And it can be quite unpleasant exiting the stadium in your Favre jersey and have hordes of cranky retirees spitting Dentu-crème and hurling epithets from the 1950’s at you.

Of course, after a few years on the job, the Buccaneers’ head coaches find that Tampa Bay is a hostile place for them as well. So I guess they treat everyone equally there.

Sometimes the problem is that road cities don’t seem to understand what it means to have thousands of Packer fans invade their town, all fired up about the game. One time I stayed in a hotel where Packer Fan Tours had booked most of the rooms. The hotel’s marketing department was not aware that Packer fans change into their game clothes immediately upon checking in—even if the game is two days away. In the hotel’s outdoor atrium, a large wedding was booked for that afternoon. One of the lasting memories the bride and groom have of the big event, preserved forever on video, is the sight of a small army of green jerseys and yellow cheese hats parading through their wedding on the way out the hotel.

Visiting San Diego is an entirely different matter. I can heartily endorse the experience of attending a Packers-Chargers game, even in the case of the preseason game I went to, a night game. (What I’m trying to politely say here is: NFL NIGHT GAMES USUSALLY = MANY, MANY OBNOXIOUS DRUNKS).

Perhaps it’s the Southern California tendency to be self-involved, but the Chargers fans didn’t seem to care Packer fans were there. They were actually, dare I say, NICE. I would say the Packer fan contingent numbered about 10% of the crowd that night. And since Packer fans are 10 times as enthusiastic as other fans, the decibel level of cheering ended up about even. Here are some highlights of my great weekend:

The Chargers management did their best to create an exciting, regular season feel to the game. For example, they charged us a robust regular season price of $79 per ticket for essentially about $12.50 worth of entertainment provided by mostly third-string players of both teams.

I did a rough count and discovered the Chargers have more cheerleaders than defensive players. They might want to consider flipping those numbers if they want stop the Denver Broncos’ offense. Unless they’ve discovered Jake Plummer has an unnatural fear of pom-poms.

There was an incredible patriotic display of America’s military might before the game including paratroopers being dropped from high above the stadium and landing on the field, one carrying an American flag. This gave Packers’ Head Coach Mike McCarthy the clever idea to ask if he could have a new offensive line parachuted in at half-time, but he found out it was against league rules.

The San Diego people are ever mindful, and protective of, the delicate marine environment of the Pacific Ocean. To keep environmentalism, and endangered species, in the forefront, they even changed the name of their stadium from Jack Murphy Stadium to qualcomm. I inquired and was told that qualcomm is the sound the protected California Golden Seal makes when it burps.

A marvelous trolley system, with clean, comfortable seats, shuttles fans right from the stadium gates all the way back into town. No nightmare of trying to exit the stadium and get onto the freeway, sitting in traffic for hours, getting lost and dangerously thirsty. From the time I left my stadium seat, it only took 20 minutes to get onto the trolley, travel to my hotel and find a seat in the bar. I believe that is a road game record.

Good job, San Diego! See you again soon.

Avoiding Noxious Negativity

2006-08-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

After watching the Packers lose to the Bengals last Monday night, I reached the conclusion that it’s going to be a long, long season…

For Packer fans? No. The Pack will be in the playoffs of course. I mean for those of us who used to enjoy watching football on Monday nights. Because the trend toward unpleasantness in the broadcast booth has reached a new low with the new team on ESPN.

To illustrate what I’m talking about here, let’s go back in time…

When I was a boy two of the most popular sports journalists on TV were Jim McKay and Chris Schenkel. To this day, I admire the way both of these men kept in mind that they were there to provide information that the viewer could not obtain from the pictures—TV was a visual medium, not a talky one. Just as importantly, Mr. McKay and Mr. Schenkel seldom, if ever, crossed the line of behaving as though they were the stars of the program. They, and their producers, knew that the viewers tuned in to see the games, to see the athletes—not the broadcasters. And most of the broadcasters of that era, at least on camera, behaved like GENTLEMEN. What a concept…

More recently, Keith Jackson is a football announcer who employed this pleasant and informative style. But unfortunately he is now retired.

In the early 1970’s, when Monday Night Football debuted on ABC, we saw a very different style of broadcast emerge: football announcers who couldn’t wait to share their opinions with the audience, whether or not the audience was interested in these opinions, and whether or not the opinion they happened to express had anything to do with the action on the field. I tended to cut Howard Cosell, annoying though he was, some slack because at least he did teach young writers new vocabulary words such as, “veritable plethora.” Although this is the first time I have actually used “veritable plethora” in a sentence.

The incredible popularity of Monday Night Football led TV executives to believe this was the style of broadcast the audience wanted, when in fact the incredible popularity was due simply to the fact that the popularity of NFL Football was soaring, and the ABC network happened to have the only game on Monday Night. THE GAME’S THE THING!

So, this season our poor ears and minds must endure the Monday night pairing of Tony Kornheiser and Joe Theismannn.

Provide Information has now disintegrated to:

Argue, Criticize, Belittle, Distract, and Irritate—And Argue Some More.

The Packers Literary Corner has come up with a term for this style of broadcast journalism: Noxious Negativity. It involves distasteful rhetoric about nonexistent controversy and stirring up the audience with imaginary conflict.

And of course we need the announcers tell us what we should think about what we are watching. We, the dumb-dumbs in the audience, can’t be expected to form any views of our own. And shame on us if we are looking forward to watching our Green Bay Packers this season, because these “experts” have all but declared our team hopeless before the season even kicks off. And if they tell us something, it must be so.

I first noticed this Kornheiser fellow when he was on a rude little two-man debate show, “Pardon This Flatulence,” or something like that. This program apparently was patterned from the political screeching on The McLaughlin Group, except they forgot to have a McLaughlin on the program to tell them when it was time to shut the hell up. Must have been budgetary constraints.

Joe Theismann, as you know, has been one of the most irritating broadcasters for years. He obviously harbors some deep personal malice toward the Green and Gold.

At my house, we’ve tried everything to not have to listen to Theismann when he is covering Packer games. We’ve turned the sound completely off. We’ve played operatic tenor Andrea Bocelli full blast on the stereo (You might try that sometime. Bocelli’s incredible voice seems to add additional drama to the games).

We’ve even tried Turning the Game Off. But then the bad guys win and we don’t get to see our team. In desperation we’ve even tried: Encouraging our Dogs To Howl.
The problem with these strategies is, you miss something when you can’t hear the crowd noise at the games.

The season is nigh...So what do we do about this verbal pestilence?

I got an idea from watching a commercial for DIRECTV’s NFL Sunday Ticket package, the one where you can watch all the NFL Games, but apparently you have to like Peyton Manning. Anyway, they have added great new features to this package this year, new technologies allowing us to spend even more than the normal 40 hours per week watching football. Perhaps they could help us with several other bells and whistles. How about:

SELECTIVE MUTE. With our remote, we could click on a menu with these choices:
Mute Kornheiser
Mute Theismann
Mute Both

Then, we could still enjoy the stadium sounds without unnecessary noise pollution, or potential aggravation. It would sound as though genial Mike Tirico is there calling the game by himself, which is fine with me. The drawback to this is that we still have to look at their faces, and when their lips move, we just know they’re saying something nasty about the Packers. So again, technology comes to our aid:

IMAGE SUBSTITUTION. Again, with our remote, we can elect to replace the mugs of Kornheiser and Theismann with something more interesting:

Bart Starr scoring the winning touchdown in the Ice Bowl
The splendor of Autumn leaves along the Fox River
Javon Walker cleaning out his locker at Lambeau Field
Brett Favre mowing his lawn in Mississippi in the offseason

Heck, I’d settle for a picture of Dick Butkus. Anything that would spare us from a season of the sounds and images that add up to Noxious Negativity.

With these simple technical advancements, enjoyment of the Monday Night games on ESPN could be greatly enhanced. So let’s get going there, programming wizards at DIRECTV. I would cheerfully pay an additional $25 per month for these features.

And suppose you see Joe Theismann in the airport the day after a game. You can say, “Really enjoyed your broadcast last night, Joe!”—and be telling the truth. Then he’ll take out a pocket mirror, admire himself for a moment, and say, “Thanks! Keep watching.”

And we will.

Now That's More Like It!

2006-07-30T12:00:00.001-07:00

Today I want to tell you about a wonderful article I came across in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Web site, written by D. Orlando Ledbetter.

You can read it in its entirety at:
http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/falcons/stories/0709nflinsider.html

Let me share the first part of the article with you:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How the Packers can make the playoffs
By D. Orlando Ledbetter
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 07/09/06

With Carolina, Seattle and Tampa Bay attracting early attention as the top teams in the NFC, Green Bay needs a few things to happen for them to become relevant again — the return of Brett Favre was central to any title aspirations. An injury-plagued 4-12 season led to the departure of Mike Sherman and the hiring of Mike McCarthy.

"I'm glad for Mike (McCarthy) that Brett is coming back," NFL Network analyst Steve Mariucci said. "They signed Charles Woodson. They lost some players, but anytime that you've got No. 4 taking snaps you're going to have a chance."

Here's a look at 10 things that must go right for the Green Bay Packers to reach the playoffs.

1. The return of Favre

(article continues)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Packers Literary Corner wishes to congratulate Mr. Ledbetter for all he accomplished in just these mere 128 words. If he keeps this kind of terrific writing going throughout the 2006 season, he will certainly be one of the favorites for our Literary Award we will be presenting each month beginning in August. Let’s examine all the things he did correctly from a technical standpoint:

Begin With A Brilliant Title: Sadly, many of his less-skilled fellow journalists can’t seem to use “Packers” and “Playoffs” in the same sentence these days. But here, Mr. Ledbetter starts right out with a positive, forward looking statement that captures our imagination and causes us to want to read more.

Address a large audience: You might be asking why a writer for an Atlanta newspaper would pen an article about Green Bay. The answer is quite simple, actually. The Packers have more fans throughout the United States than any other NFL Team. And you don’t have to take my word for this. Just read the Harris Polls done each year in October that confirm this fact. The author understands this basic premise of journalism and has targeted his article to reach the largest audience possible.

Don’t Live In The Past: He spends only one sentence bringing the reader up to speed on what happened last year, the one that begins, “An injury-plagued 4-12 season.”

Why focus on the dead past when we can concentrate on the bright future instead...

Many of us have a short attention span anyway. Who was it that won the NFC North last year? I can’t seem to recall.

Include Opinions from Experts: The author asked for Steve Mariucci’s comments and put them near the top of the article. Mooch is an authority on the Packers for several key reasons. He was Quarterback Coach with Green Bay in the early years of Brett Favre’s career, and was instrumental in his development, for which Packer Fans will always be grateful. And later on, when Steve coached the 49ers and then the Lions, he got to observe Brett and the Packers up close as they regularly put a whup-ass on his teams.

I employed this same technique of interviewing experts when I co-authored a recent book about the publishing industry, THE MAKING OF A BESTSELLER. Since authors such as Dan Brown and Nicholas Sparks have sold millions of books and I haven’t, I concluded that readers were probably more interested in what authors like these had to say about the publishing industry, rather than 80,000 words about what I thought. It turned out to be a smart move on my part.

Put The Most Important Factor At The Top of Your List: Writer Ledbetter has a list of ten things necessary to propel the Packers to the playoffs, each expressed in a snappy, memorable way such as: “Put Bears in hibernation,” and “Rally around new regime.”

But, #1 on his list is THE RETURN OF FAVRE.

I would argue he could have concluded the article right there.

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THE FINAL SCORE

As you know, The Packers Literary Corner’s highest award in journalism is a
6-pack of Johnsonville Bratwurst and an autographed copy of the Green Bay Packer themed novel, OVER TIME.

For this fine work of sports journalism, Mr. D. Orlando Ledbetter receives:

4 ½ Brats, With Buns, and Gourmet Mustard

An Outbreak of Blogarrhea

2006-07-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

This Weeks Packers Literary Corner Review:

“Monday Morning QB” by Peter King on CNNSI.com

Newspaper and magazine editors have always seemed miserly when it comes to establishing the maximum number of words a writer was allowed for an article, oftentimes to the author’s chagrin. Part of this was due to printing costs (more words, more paper, more cost); part of it was the obvious necessity of making room for the advertisements that paid for the publication; and the third reason for the editor’s sharp red pencil was—to keep writers from rambling.

Many veterans of the print media now pen Internet columns for the free or subscription based sports Web sites. The Internet has unfettered writers from those burdensome word restrictions, however, and now it seems writers can go on…and on…and on…

And it brings up an interesting question: At what point does an article become a “blog”? And at what point do these blogs get completely out of hand, as though they’ve come down with a bad case of blogarrhea?

Today, the Packers Literary Corner is going to review an Internet column written by the esteemed Sports Illustrated writer, Peter King, which appears in the magazine’s Web site, cnnsi.com.

Peter was one of the first national writers to wisely foresee—and frequently write about--the rise of the Packers’ dynasty in the early 1990’s, after the team and its fans had suffered through two decades of frustration and futility. Peter became an excellent source of information about Brett Favre’s ascent to become the most popular player in the NFL, and was quite enthusiastic about the Packers when they made two Super Bowl appearances in a row. These of course, are all signs of highly skilled writing.

His “Monday Morning QB” column started out to be a concise review of the previous day’s NFL games, with the advantage of immediacy over the articles that would appear in print 5 days later or so in the print edition. Unfortunately, it seems to have become “Mundane Morning QB”, where the theme is: Whatever the hell I want to talk about. Let’s look at his Monday, July 24 column, which weighs in at a whopping:

Three Thousand Two Hundred Fifty-Six Words (and this is the offseason, mind you!) You can check it out at:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/peter_king/07/24/mmqb/index.html

In the Packers Literary Corner’s view, Mr. King violates two important writing maxims with his column:

1) To quote F. Scott Fitzgerald “You don’t write because you want to say something; you write because you’ve got something to say.”

2) If it ain’t about the Green Bay Packers, who cares?

And these indiscretions are a shame because his column gets off to a rousing start with a discussion of the hope and optimism that abounds with fans of each and every NFL Team this time of year. This is so true. And as we’ve observed many times, July is the month when the Minnesota Vikings seem to win all of their NFL Championships.

But now, let’s look at a few specific examples of where Mr. King’s trolley gets off the track:

--An uncharacteristic mental lapse where he picks Detroit as one of his surprise teams for 2006. His logic for this curious statement is particularly flawed when he bases it on:

“The Lions' opponents in Games 3 through 10 had these win totals in 2005: 4, 6, 9, 5, 4, 8, 4 and 5.”

Game 3 is against Green Bay, which of course by that time will be on its way to a 12 win season in 2006, so actually the Lions have a tough schedule. Unlike in geology, the past is not always the key to the present in football.

--He has a section titled “Aggravating/Enjoyable Travel Note of the Week”
This should be deleted altogether. It’s not the readers’ fault he doesn’t travel first class.

--His major blunder in this column was under his “Factoid That May Interest Only Me”
His boo-boo here is in the same vein as the B-level TV stars who march out, wag their fingers at us and tells us how to run our lives, dispensing such brilliant advice as: “Spend more time with your kids,” or “Tell your kids to not do drugs” or, “Spend more time with your kids while they’re doing drugs.”

Dang, we’d never have figured that out on our own.

In this case, Peter all but orders us to the theaters to screen the al-goreical environmental film “An Incoherent Truth”. To quote Mr. King:

“This is not exactly the venue to warn the world about global warming, but all you football junkies readying for your fantasy drafts should do one real-world thing in the next couple of weeks: take two hours to see this movie. I'm not saying you'll be glad you did, because it's going to slap you around mentally a bit. But it's something you need to see.”

Isn’t that a just a tad condescending here, the presumption that all we’re doing out there in the non-Eastern seaboard US is “readying for our fantasy drafts?” How absurd. I, for one, am:

a) Leafing through all the NFL logo merchandise catalogs and picking out a predominantly green and gold fall wardrobe.
b) Maintaining a hawk-like focus on the E-bay screen to find the best deals on tickets to games at Lambeau Field.
c) Renewing my subscription to NFL Sunday Ticket.

If Mr. King is really desirous of hopping aboard the Global Warming bandwagon, then he should express the issue in terms that we all can relate to:

IF THE WORLD HEATS UP TEN MORE DEGREES, THERE WILL BE NO MORE FROZEN TUNDRA!

That’s enough to give all of us pause, and eventually mend our ways. The only fuel we’d be burning after that is from the Kingsford when we fire up the backyard grill.

So, there’s no need to foul the environment with the thousands of pounds of carbon emissions it would take for all of us to drive our cars to the Cineplex to see a politician’s movie.

--Then, he follows this with a potpourri of trivia called “Ten Things I Think I Think.”
In this edition, these observations include something about an old, old singer named Bruce Springsteen, someone named A-Rod who apparently plays some other sport than football (why?), and some kind of coffee beans from a country we’ve never heard of.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Although most of his column wasn’t that helpful, Peter did have a gem that redeems most of the other stuff, concerning his upcoming tour of training camps:

“A month and 22 team visits later, I hope to be educated enough to tell you who to take in your fantasy drafts. If you're lucky, I won't advise you to bypass Favre for Wuerffel again.”

Way to go, Peter!

As you know, The Packers Literary Corner’s highest award in journalism is a 6-pack of Johnsonville Bratwurst and an autographed copy of the Green Bay Packer themed novel,
OVER TIME.
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“Monday Morning QB” by Peter King earns 3 Brats.

(without the buns)

When Lindy Gets Windy

2006-07-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

This is the time of year when Pro Football preview magazines hit the newsstands. For ten years or so my favorite of these has been Lindy’s Pro Football magazine. This has so much valuable information that I keep referring to it throughout the NFL season and right up to the playoffs. It even has team rosters with comments about each and every player’s performance last season and outlook for the coming year.

Reading Lindy’s is a great way to learn about your favorite team’s opponents and division rivals.

Packers Literary Corner would recommend cutting out two pages from the 2006 edition of Lindy’s, however. Page 101, where editor Howard Balzer gazes into his crystal ball-zer and comes out with some very curious predictions, and page 217, where the magazine attempts to create a numerical score for each team’s component parts—receiving corps, linebackers, etc.—and then an overall ranking for the team’s strength. In other words, a row of little arbitrary numbers is added together create The Big Arbitrary Number. And one is left with the question: How Does This Relate to Winning Games?

If a team shows up at Lambeau Field with a bigger Arbitrary Number than Green Bay’s, should the Packers be frightened? Probably not.

So take these pages with you on vacation in case you need wrappers for freshly caught game fish, and then enjoy the rest of the magazine.

At least they are honest enough to subtitle their Prediction page “Another Chance to Look Foolish.” Well spoken, Howard, as shown below.

Here are Lindy’s predictions for the NFC North:

(First Place) Chicago – If Rex Grossman stays healthy, this could be a special team.

(Second) Minnesota – Brad Johnson brings stability to a team that needs a hug.

(Third) Detroit - Can Mike Martz work wonders with Jon Kitna and Josh McCown?

(Fourth) Green Bay – It won’t be long until Brett Favre wishes he retired.

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So, Packer Literary Nation, what’s wrong with this material? Other than the fact that the predicted order of finish is completely upside down from reality and the logic is non-existent, these predictions are slightly better than most I’ve seen thus far in 2006.

In this case, since the author of these predictions, Mr. Balzer, has already suggested they might be foolish, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and just tweak them a little.

Presenting: The Packers Literary Corner Predictions for the NFC North – 2006

(FIRST) Green Bay – It won’t be long (early September to be exact) until the rest of the league wishes Brett Favre had retired.

(Second) Chicago – With a defense as awesome as the Bears,’ who cares if Rex Grossman stays healthy?

(Third) Detroit - Can Mike Martz find alternative employment for Jon Kitna and Josh McCown?

(Fourth) Minnesota – Brad Johnson brings complete immobility to a team that needs to be relocated to Los Angeles.

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Remember, this is only Mid-July. The Packers Literary Corner reserves the right to change our predictions somewhat as key information emerges from training camps. For example, it is entirely possible the Vikings might drop a little further in the standings. These things happen.

A Reading List for Sportswriters

2006-07-06T16:16:00.000-07:00

Last week I said I would graciously recommend a reading list for the sportswriters whose work I critiqued (June 28 post). Here it is:

The ‘Packers Literary Corner’ Reading List for July 2006

Voracious reading is essential to developing writing skill. Here are some books to help football writers improve their minds as they await the start of NFL Training Camps:

Because we should always hone our writing Style: The Elements of Style by Strunk & White

Because most great writers are well-grounded in Philosophy: The Packer Way by Ron Wolf

A thorough understanding of History helps us gain valuable perspective: When Pride Still Mattered by David Maraniss

Studying Ancient History helps us piece together fragments from the dim and distant past, so let’s go way, way back in time: The Detroit Lions’ Championship Years
by Edsel Marinelli

Because we need a wholesome activity for the offseason: The Thrill of Recreational Boating by D. Culpepper (with a foreword by his attorney)

Remember what your high school English teacher said: "Don't neglect the Classics!", so we include: Verily, The Bears Still Sucketh by William Shakespeare

Now, let’s broaden our reading horizons with a moody, existential tale from an up-and-coming New Orleans author: When Rivers Runs Backwards by Drew Brees

Because well-crafted fiction can take us on a suspenseful thrill ride to places we have never visited before: Over Time by Brian Hill and Dee Power

Finally, let’s visit the New Age/Inspiration shelf at the bookstore: Favre by Brett and Bonita Favre

Happy Reading!

Beginning Our Football Literary Adventure

2006-06-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

--The Packers Literary Corner—

A ‘Cheese Blog’ For Everyone Who Enjoys Great Football Teams and Great Writing

As we search for the best and worst football writing out there, let’s begin our literary adventure with something called:

Krupka's and Byrne's early NFL Preview

These fellows came up with the bizarre and twisted conclusion that the Packers are ranked 31st in the league. And, remember, that’s out of a total of only 32 teams.

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Here’s what they had to say:

by Connor Byrne and Eric Krupka of RealFootball365.com

published June 15, 2006

“31.) Green Bay - Arguably the worst team in the NFL. The front office is becoming a joke, which was evident in its handling of the Javon Walker and Darren Sharper fiascos in recent years. The ridiculous treatment the Packers allow quarterback Brett Favre to put them through, and the strange hiring of Mike McCarthy as the head coach. The only reason to go to Lambeau this season will be to drink beer and see the crumbling of a legend. 27, 28, 29. How many interceptions is that, Brett?”

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So, Packer Literary Nation, what’s the matter with this paragraph?

Lack of focus. Starting a statement with the word “arguably” means you are not certain of what you want to say. So why bother saying it?

Lack of clarity. They say: “27, 28, 29. How many interceptions is that, Brett?” It is not at all clear what exactly they are asking our hero. To estimate how many interceptions the less skilled quarterbacks around the league are likely to fling?

Use of confusing slang terms when more elegant words are available. How exactly can the Packers’ front office be a ‘joke’? As far as I am aware, Ted Thompson has never been particularly known for his sense of humor.

Lack of scholarship. You go to “Lambeau Field”. To “go to Lambeau” at this point would require the intercession of the lovely Ghost Whisperer on CBS.

Now, let’s re-write this paragraph for them, using these time-tested football literary principles:

--When sitting down to write, the first thing to do is establish at least a tangential connection between the word processor and your brain.

--THE PACKERS RULE!

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The “Over Time” NFL Preview and Power Ranking

#1) Green Bay – Without question the best team in the NFL. Under the exemplary leadership of General Manager Ted Thompson, the Packers’ front office is again becoming the envy of the league. He gets particular credit for ridding of the team of deadwood and disruptive malcontents. But no less critical to the Packers’ resurgence in 2006 was the patience the team’s vigorous new Head Coach, Mike McCarthy, showed in allowing Brett Favre sufficient time to reflect and re-energize himself in the offseason. It never pays to rush an American Legend. With the one-year aberration of a losing season behind them, Packer fans can again visit Lambeau Field with the near-certainty of seeing their team win, and enjoy an inexorable march to the playoffs.

And of course, the beer and brats will be great as always.

Now, that sounds much better, doesn’t it...

Notice how there is a cheerful, positive, non-confrontational style. And there are several words that Oakland Raiders fans will have to look up in the dictionary, so we are helping others build their vocabularies. Yes, our friends in Silver and Black, there’s no need to confine your speech to words with just four letters.

Next time, I will provide a suggested reading list for the gentlemen I quoted above, in an effort to help them rid their future literary efforts of that needlessly negative tone.

For Everyone Who Enjoys Great Football Teams and Great Writing

2006-06-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

I love great sports writing. The ability to observe a sporting event and turn it into vivid word pictures is truly an art. The problem today is that—what with the thousands of sports-related Internet sites and numerous Cable TV channels devoted to sports--there is more ‘stuff’ out there than even the most dedicated NFL fan can possibly keep up with. Some of it is gem-quality journalism, a lot of it is noisy, unpleasant junk.

So, how do we separate the good football writing from the bad, distinguish between the words artists and the finger painters?

I had wrestled with this question for years, without getting anywhere close to answering it. Then, earlier this week, it finally hit me! I discovered a rule we can all apply (and the rule is so simple that I am surprised I didn’t discover it before):

THE MOST TALENTED FOOTBALL WRITERS AND BROADCASTERS TEND TO BE THOSE WHO SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT THE GREEN BAY PACKERS.

In fact, ‘tend to be’ might be too cautious a phrase. Actually, there is a near 100% correlation between writing talent and relentless optimism about the Packers.

My goal is to help you sift through all the football-related content out there and find the very best writing and to help you avoid the very worst.

The Packers Literary Corner will recognize and encourage excellence in football writing and broadcasting.

From time to time I will select one truly deserving writer to receive the partially prestigious:

‘Over Time’ Literary Achievement Award

There will be several ways a journalist or broadcaster can become eligible to win this award:

--Expressing gushing admiration for Brett Favre, to the point that Chicago Bears fans in the audience begin to get nauseous.

--Describing, at considerable length, why Lambeau Field is the best place to see an NFL game. Extra credit will be given for use of words such as magnificent, incredible, and phrases such as once-in-a-lifetime experience.

--Reminding readers that the Packers have won a league-high 12 Championships, beginning in 1929—no other team is even close to that achievement except the Chicago Bears with 9--and not misleading them with the fuzzy logic that other teams are the true “Dynasties” because they have won more Super Bowls. (An understanding of history is part of what makes a writer great).

--Demonstrating a talent for prognostication. This is the easiest way to qualify for the Over Time Literary Achievement Award. All a writer has to do is maintain Green Bay in the #1 or #2 position in their NFL Team Rankings for 5 consecutive weeks. Consideration will also be given to those writers who recommend the Packers’ entire starting lineup in their Fantasy Football leagues. Even our injured players.

Award winners receive and impressive package of prizes including an autographed copy of the novel, OVER TIME and a gift certificate for delicious Johnsonville Bratwurst.

But what do we do with the clueless, negative scribes? You know these guys. When you read the nonsense they write about the Packers, you’d think they were talking about the NFL’s perennial doormat rather than the team that’s had 12 winning seasons in the last 14 years. You really have to scratch your head when you read goofy things like ‘the Packers will be so bad in 2006 that Brett will regret having come back for another season,’ or truly brain dead predictions such as ‘Green Bay will have the #1 pick in next year’s Draft’.

You have to feel sorry for these people. They are trapped in a mental tar pit of ignorance and no one seems willing to throw them a lifeline. I feel compelled to do something to help these poor individuals get on the path to enlightenment, to help them find their ‘Inner Cheesehead’, if you will.

Let’s visit the Internet, plunge into the digital mire and dredge up some of the most foolishly negative statements about the Packers. Then, we will critique what they had to say, and try to help them become better writers. Help them sharpen their thinking. Smooth out their literary style. And, recommend books they should read to get them back on the right track. It’s the least we Packer fans can do.

That’s why we’re renowned as The Best Fans in the National Football League.